CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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I Found a Penny Today, So Here’s a Thought

Yesterday — August 24, 2019 (permalink)

Another holiday ruined: "I have nobody up here to use sarcasm on."  From a 1916 postcard, courtesy of UpNorthMemories.
#vintage postcard #sarcasm
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August 11, 2019 (permalink)

"The cat changed into a woman."  The principle is the reverse of How to Be Your Own Cat.
From Supernatural Cats, edited by Claire Necker, 1972.
#transformation #metamorphosis #cat #cat people #vintage headline
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August 7, 2019 (permalink)

Here's a great mention of haunted wallpaper in Elements by Stephen Gutierrez, 1997.
My modest collection of haunted wallpaper imagery is downright uncanny.
#haunted wallpaper
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August 6, 2019 (permalink)

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August 2, 2019 (permalink)

The thing to do is …

  • once you've bloomed, hold on. 
  • change the course.
  • keep up your spirits in spite of everybody and everything.
  • get rid of the poison while it is still only on the surface.
  • just laugh it off.
  • begin while the infestation is slight.
  • go back to doing what you do best.
  • accept this madness of yours as a basic fact.
  • keep occupied.
  • face the worst with serenity.
  • heed them both.
  • be forever losing yourself in the enjoyment of embracing life.
  • find a house and wait for Santa.
  • play this game simply for the pleasure of playing it.
  • accept this fact and try to utilize it.
  • start before it's too late.
  • the thing that can be done.

[tidbits gleaned from our research]

#what to do
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#vintage illustration #hell #art #poetry #god
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Is Hell Eternal Or Will God's Plan Fail? by Charles Hamilton Pridgeon, 1920.
#hell #vintage book #eternity
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July 30, 2019 (permalink)

"Be glad you're not a cranberry."  From the Florida Flambeau, 1959.
#vintage headline #fruit #cranberry
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July 29, 2019 (permalink)

We'd heard of boldface headlines, but here's a quite literal one.  From the Kansas State Collegian, 1971.
#vintage headline #boldface
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July 27, 2019 (permalink)

Commenting on our video about the weird secret of rolling blank dice, George Parker (author of The Little Book of Creativity) said: "Great piece! Thanks. My mind went to two places. Well actually a million places but the two that passed: I will start to look at coins as two-sided dice and metal disks as a two-sided blank dice. The other one was triggered when you talked about how blank dice may call out occult, as in hidden, powers. Since 5% of the universe consists of things we can observe, with and without instruments, and the rest is hidden (27% dark matter, 68% dark energy -- and we have little clue about what it even is) we should throw blank dice way more often."

#magic #blank dice
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July 24, 2019 (permalink)

Though it's famously said that we can see farther than a giant when we stand on his shoulders, that may be an exaggeration.  Consider this evidence: in the case of one sitting on a log held by a giant's shoulder while he wades in a river, nobody sees very far.
From "The Three Giants" by Mrs. Marcet, in Eyes and No Eyes by M. V. O'Shea, 1900.
#vintage illustration #giant #shoulders of giants
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By Nicholas Vachel Lindsay, in Forum, 1914.
#vintage illustration #witchcraft #wizard #wonder #mystery #art #darkness #poetry
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July 21, 2019 (permalink)

The only solution is to:

  • sprout a pair of wings
  • phase out the signal
  • make the bucket bigger
  • turn the machine off and leave it alone
  • sedate them
  • involve the community
  • be disconnected and re-dial
  • destroy the system and start all over again
  • lighten the load
  • make your home appear to be untenanted
  • replace the damaged piece
  • overthrow it and then poof...that's it
  • abandon the dogmatic idea
  • re-write the subroutine with higher precision
  • grin and bear it
  • prove them wrong
  • drop the notion of total divine inspiration
  • invent something different
  • make the best of the material at hand
  • limit the amount of information available
  • accept the defeat and wait quietly for the positive forces to lead you
  • reboot the system
  • stop talking altogether and uses sign language
  • do a backup for yourself
  • travel off somewhere away from everyone

[tidbits collected from our research]

#only solution
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July 17, 2019 (permalink)

"I ate one and didn't die" -- a headline from The GW Hatchet, 1987.
#vintage headline #ate one #didn't die
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July 16, 2019 (permalink)

We can get through this if we:

  • don't pass out
  • stay in the moment
  • tough out the next few days
  • tell ourselves we can
  • stay here and focus
  • don't panic
  • take risks
  • trust each other enough
  • do it together
  • talk to each other
  • keep our minds clear
  • put up a united front
  • follow simple precautions
  • rely on the Lord
  • vote on an amendment
  • keep it light
  • hold onto our patience
  • stand up for one another
  • can forgive
  • are determined to grow
  • don't start screaming

[tidbits gleaned from our research]

#survival #getting through
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"Why not make this a world of friends?"  From The Philosophy of Elbert Hubbard, 1916.
#friendship #change the world
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July 15, 2019 (permalink)

"I remember a pill that had as side effects — if you took an overdose — convulsions, coma, amd then death.  And in the literature, right after it told about the convulsions, coma and death, it said, May Be Habit Forming.  Which always struck me as an anticlimax. ... It's a strange world ... very strange." —Philip K. Dick, A Maze of Death
#big pharma #medicine #philip k. dick #prescription drugs
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July 13, 2019 (permalink)

This line is a Googlewhack: "Yesterday the world was singing; hell was miles away."  From American University's 1969 yearbook.
#vintage yearbook #vintage headline
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July 12, 2019 (permalink)

If they'd told me "What to expect from the call" earlier, I woudln't have let the answering machine take it.  From the Clarion Call newspaper, 1970.
#vintage headline #what to expect
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July 10, 2019 (permalink)

"It's probaby the man from upstairs.  He borrows things.  Weird things.  Like two-fifths of an onion."
#onion #philip k. dick
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Original Content Copyright © 2019 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.