CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.
March 17, 2015 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"I want to know who Frankenstein is and why we're following him." —Chris Priestley, Mister Creecher

January 27, 2015 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"Go to yonder point where the mountain ends and jump down from the precipice." —Perfect Relationship: Guru and Disciple

December 2, 2014 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"You let me pay. It's the least I can do for all your help." —Treason's Reward by Annay Dawson

November 20, 2014 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"Just as long as they don't come anywhere near me." —Alan Edge, Faith of Our Fathers

October 21, 2014 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"Never, in life or death, are you to tell anyone that I retreated and withdrew from this peril out of fear." —Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

March 15, 2012 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"Tomorrow you meet me and explain what's going on." —Kat Martin, The Bride's Necklace

February 16, 2012 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"Our relationship will be platonic from here on in." —Robyn Grady, Fired Waitress, Hired Mistress

January 19, 2012 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"That you give all your heart and soul to the training."  —Rami Kivisalo, The Red Scorpion

December 30, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"That you don't run off." —Heidi Rice, Unfinished Business with the Duke

December 15, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"I don't get shot." —Britny Coker, Western Romance

November 17, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"That you forgive yourself."  —Roxanne St. Claire, Edge of Sight

October 23, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"that we do not automatically subsume all of the realities that we label 'individual memory' under the name of 'collective memory.'" —Jeffrey K. Olick, et al., The Collective Memory Reader (2011)

October 12, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"that you give me my money first." —Sam Mphuthi, Coming Back Home

September 15, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"You take one first."  —Noah Boyd, The Bricklayer

August 10, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"You admit that you know where you met me."  —Maria Geraci, The Boyfriend of the Month Club

July 28, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"That you don't say a single word."  —Angelique Lacroix, Andrea's Diary

June 24, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"that it be delayed for one year." —Christiane Bird, The Sultan's Shadow

June 14, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"I would like for you to have your cell phone on you at all times, so that if anything goes wrong, you can call someone."  —Erin Sankey, Nalee

May 31, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"You sit on the other side of the booth." —Teresa Southwick, Taming the Montana Millionaire

May 18, 2011 (permalink)

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"to keep it a small."  —Jenny Ripatti, When Love & Culture Collide

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