CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
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A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.
Someone Should Write a Book on ...

September 13, 2017 (permalink)

"One day someone should write a follow-up of Joan Didion's Californian memoir Where I Was From." —Mireille Hildebrandt, Smart Technologies and the End(s) of Law
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August 30, 2017 (permalink)

"Someone should write an etiquette book on it—Avoiding Awkward Innkeeper Interactions." —Mae Fox and Amy Lillard, Pattern of Betrayal
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August 22, 2017 (permalink)

"'Transsexual Christology.'  Someone should write that book!" —Jimmy R. Watson, Big Jesus
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August 21, 2017 (permalink)

Someone should write the Anatomy of Ghosts.  From Hood's Magazine, 1846.
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August 6, 2017 (permalink)

"One day someone ought to write a general theory of incubation in order to allow the word to fully germinate.  (Let's compare: a tempest is incubated, and so is fear, dawn, laughter, voyeurism, the world, grammar, love, the absurd, a revolution, a treaty, alfalfa, different kinds of killings, a game of billiards, itchiness, a nightmare, humiliation, and, of course, the egg.)" —Hugo Hiriart, "About the Egg," Hurricanes and Carnivals
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July 23, 2017 (permalink)

Lanham suggests, "you should pitch a book on German visual propaganda to a good press."
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June 19, 2017 (permalink)

"Someone ought to write a book called What to Expect When Expecting a Book." —Cecily McMillan, in Guide to Literary Agents 2017
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May 21, 2017 (permalink)

From Coronet, Jan. 1939.  [Thank you, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.]
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April 16, 2017 (permalink)

Someone "should write a book on how to get stoned and sober in twenty minutes." —Edna Robinson, The Trouble With the Truth
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April 7, 2017 (permalink)

From "Talking at Concerts" by Loren Carroll, in Coronet, July 1937:

What kind of people talk at concerts? The kind that chatter all the time no matter where they are or the kind that are usually silent and require some particular stimulus such as a Bach figure to bring them out?

I could never find the answers. The most inveterate concert-goers proved drab subjects for interviews. Most were tongue-tied on this one subject.

[....]

Failing in my investigation I turned to another question: What do people talk about at concerts? What's behind the murmurs and whispers? Answering this took strenuous work: going to concerts regularly, twisting my neck out of shape, hopping from one place to another, hiding under seats, etc., etc. The result of all this I have embodied in my work, "The Anthology of Sp-sp-ppp." This monumental work is now complete but I have decided (in the hope that all other authors of monumental works will do likewise) to withhold publication.

(Thank you, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt!)

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December 30, 2016 (permalink)

Someone should write a book of form letters that tell the truth.  From Pearson's, 1897.
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December 26, 2016 (permalink)

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December 20, 2016 (permalink)

Someone should write All the Stages of Mame: How to Live Your Life Like a Crazy Homosexual.  —Justin Sayre
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August 18, 2016 (permalink)

Someone should write a book with all the important details (exact coordinates and times) of famous photos, so that time travelers can plan how to photobomb them with anachronisms.
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August 14, 2016 (permalink)

"Talk about falling up.  But that's for another book" (Star Jones, You Have to Stand for Something, Or You'll Fall for Anything).

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July 26, 2016 (permalink)

"Somebody should write a book about roosters, beginning with the infamous representative that we associate with St. Peter's famous fib." —Vermont Life
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July 7, 2016 (permalink)

"Somebody should write a book on autograph etiquette." —Mark McGwire
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July 2, 2016 (permalink)

"Someone should write a book or an essay or a poem or something about watching your home town disappear out of the back of a train." —The Missionary Letters of Vincent Donovan: 1957-1973
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January 25, 2016 (permalink)

Jonathan Caws-Elwitt suggests that someone should write "a concordance to offstage characters in literature.  By this I do not mean a trivial voice that speaks from the wings in a drama or calls on the telephone in a novel, but rather personae who are given some extensive discussion by a narrator or other characters but who never, ever appear directly."

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October 16, 2015 (permalink)

Someone should write a book on unconscious eating, as so often people eat in trances. —William Keckler

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