Here's an alternative to "I do": "I forgot my condiment can." From the "C" Battery Book, 306th F. A., 77th Div., 1917-1919
. Speaking of weddings, see our Collected Lost Meanings of Wedlock. Why lost meanings? The definition of “marriage” has become hotly debated of late, to the point that the word has become “increasingly unmentionable” (Catholic Herald) or even “has no meaning at all” (Family Policy Institute). It’s been said that only through loss can there be gain, that only through loss can we truly grow and understand what is at stake, that only through loss can that which is beautiful be found. As the poet Joseph August has noted, “Only through loss can we glimpse the deepest meanings, / hints and flashes whispered from below / elucted as from underwater, deep.” The collected lost meanings of wedlock might surprise even those who would otherwise be considered well-informed. It's the perfect gift for one’s betrothed, or for a wedding planner, or for anyone contemplating matrimony.