If you'll indulge us, there are so many great lines in this funny 1840 article on ghosts. The author is adamant that a ghost should never pull someone by the nose, as it's undignified. "Here again I may be asked, 'Have ghosts ever been addicted to nose-pulling?' I am not certain; but the story goes that they have." When a ghost appears in metamorphosis, it "should come in a shape befitting the sublimity" of its character. "I knew a ghost once that came in the shape of a teapot, and another that took the form of a leg of mutton. These are unghostly shapes; for what have legs of mutton and tea-pots to do in the invisible world?" The author posits that ghosts should by all means avoid poetry: "most of the ghost-rhymes current are as bad as any stuff I ever read in the newspapers." The author exhorts ghosts not to wear night-caps: "If a ghost has any sense of propriety, let him appear with a bare sconce; it is much more respectable. Some indulgence may perhaps be claimed for a bald ghost, especially considering the coolness of the night air." We learn that only the ghost of a tobacconist should allowed to take snuff. The author also objects to ghosts cutting capers. "Some may say it is difficult for them to avoid this, considering how light they are; but that is their affair and not ours. A ghost, I maintain, ought to behave with sobriety, and not play fantastic tricks. My aunt Grizzel for instance, saw a ghost jump over a broomstick, and another grinding coffee: now any body could so these things, therefore a ghost ought not to do them. A ghost was seen once, that jumped over a dining-table, flung three summersets in the air, and made sixteen pirouettes on the top of his right toe, without putting himself out of breath: I have no doubt this was the ghost of a Frenchman."