Selected Wisdom of Jonathan Caws-Elwitt
Inventing deodorants is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.
There is no such thing as superfluous praise.
A true friend does not reveal the song which is stuck in his head.
Every morning I leave the house determined not to let Life make a
monkey of me. But I always carry a banana in my bag, just in case.
If you want to have ice cream at the party, bring ice cream to the party.
So many questions, so many question marks.
Advice to coffee drinkers: Don't put all your filters in one basket.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass
is half full. The optometrist says you need a new pair of glasses.
Behind every successful sock puppet is an otherwise idle right or left hand.
Monday's dessert is Tuesday's appetizer.
Remember never to rely on memory.
A good magician never explains his jokes.
Literary humorist Jonathan Caws-Elwitt's plays, stories, essays,
letters, parodies, wordplay, witticisms and miscellaneous tomfoolery
can be found at Monkeys 1, Typewriters 0
Here you'll encounter frivolous, urbane writings about symbolic yams,
pigs in bikinis, donut costumes, vacationing pikas, nonexistent movies,
cross-continental peppermills, and other compelling subjects.