CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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January 9, 2018

This May Surprise You (permalink)

Tina Turner was Queen Hatshepsut?  Confirmed!

As if to say (translated into the vernacular), "This is my relaunch, bitches," Tina Turner opened her Private Dancer album in a most astonishing way:
I'm a new pair of eyes
Every time I am born
An original mind
Because I just died
Yes, Tina Turner is the reincarnation of Queen Hatshepsut, having ruled as pharaoh of the Eighteenth Dynasty of Egypt (1478–1458 BC).  We can confirm this as an eye-witness—we are the same age as Grace Jones, who told the New York Times that she is 5,000 years old.  And we were there.  But even more importantly, Tina Turner still is Queen Hatshepsut.  This fact is explained by Nick Cave in his book The Sick Bag Song:
Everything is happening and has happened and will happen again. Everything that exists has always existed and will continue to exist. Memory is imagined; it’s not real. Don’t be ashamed of its need to create; it’s the loveliest part of your heart. Myth is the true history. Don’t let them tell you that there are no monsters. Don’t let them make you feel stupid, just because you are happy to play down in the dark with your flashlight. The mystical world depends on you and your tolerance for the absurd. Be strong, my darling ones, and believe!
The Tina Turner song in question is, of course, "I Might Have Been Queen," and the amazing lyrics continue:
And I'm scanning the horizon for someone recognizing
That I might have been queen
For every sun that sets there is a new one dawning
For every empire crushed there is a brand new nation
Let the waters rise
I've ridden each tide
From the gates of the city
Where the first born died
And I might have been queen
I remember the girl in the fields with no name
She had a love
Oh but the river won't stop for me
No the river won't stop for me
I'm a new pair of eyes
An original mind
With my senses of old
And the heart of a giant
And I'm searching through the wreckage
For some great recollection
That I might have been queen
For every sage that falls
There's an ancient child
And I might have been queen
I remember the girl in the fields with no name
She had a love
Oh but the river won't stop for me
No the river won't stop for me
I look up to the stars with my perfect memory
I lived through it all, and my future's no shock to me
I look down, but I see no tragedy
I look up to my past, my spirit running free
I look down, I look down, and I'm there in history
Oh I'm a soul survivor
I might have been queen!
(Soul survivor on the river, but it won't stop)
I know the secret combination
(Soul survivor on the river, but it won't stop)
I might have been queen!
(Soul survivor on the river, but it won't stop)
I know the secret combination
(Soul survivor on the river, but it won't stop)
I might have been queen, I know the secret combination
(Soul survivor on the river, but it won't stop)
I might have been queen, I know the secret combination
(Soul survivor on the river, but it won't stop)
> read more from This May Surprise You . . .
#vintage illustration #ancient egypt #tina turner #queen hatshepsut #i might have been queen
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