From Conjurer's Coffin, by Guy Cullingford:
[Who is or was Guy Cullingford? Well, here's what the "about the author" blurb has to say: "The author of this book prefers to do a conjuring trick and remain invisible, and so gives us no autobiographical details or photograph with which we could shatter the illusion."]
[The Joke Only Works in a Working-Class English Accent dept.]
"It's them lazy sluts from the bally [i.e., ballet]. Bally noosance I call them," and she looked sharply at Miss Milk to see whether her pun was appreciated.
"What really drew my attention to it was one which I thought said: 'Italian lady gives lessons. Twins by arrangement.' I had to look again to see that it was terms."
[Old expression that's new to me.]
"She'd be as right as a trivet."
"You're the artist's nightmare. The one who always remembers it's been done before."
[Just wait until Google comes along. You ain't seen nothin' yet!]
[Characters Who Allude to People They Know as If You're Supposed to Know Who They Are, When Clearly There's No Reason You Would dept.]
"I like my milk and my tea in separate Thermoses, and if I leave it to Violet I know she'll put them in together."
Miss Milk had no idea who Violet was, but she tut-tutted in sympathy with the principle involved.
"The porter knew nothing: come to that you could remove the hotel brick by brick during the night, and I don't think he'd notice."