Today we honor Corey Haim
, a voice of sanity in an insane world of song-lyric-pronoun abuse. In the film The Lost Boys
, Haim sings "Ain't Got No Home" by Clarence "Frogman" Henry. Does Haim butcher the original lyrics? Absolutely not! Haim isn't afraid to "sing like a girl" or even "like a frog"! (Go ahead and gasp!)
The PInKSLiP Campaign
hereby dares contemporary singers to follow Haim's example. And what a controversial dare it is, apparently! Consider, for example, these lyrics from the song:
- "I ain't got a man." According to the ridiculous standards that PInKSLiP actively fights, only a woman (of any orientation) could sing such a line.
- "I ain't got a son." This line could presumably be sung only by a singer with no male heir.
- "I ain't got a daughter." This line is presumably exclusive to daughterless singers.
- "I ain't got no one." Who but the impotent, the deliberately childless, the unmarried, the asexual, or the socially inept would dare to sing such a line?
- "I'm a lonely girl." Grown-up girls would likely need to change the word to "woman," and male singers would need to switch the gender, according to today's ridiculous standards.
- "I ain't got a mother." Only orphans need bother retaining this lyric, apparently.
- "I ain't got a father." This would be exclusive to genetically engineered ("test tube") people.
- "I ain't got a sister." This line is for singletons, apparently.
- "Not even a brother." Ditto.
- "I'm a lonely frog." Human singers need not bother.
- "I ain't got a home." A line for homeless singers, obviously.
Need we say more? As the lyrics of "Ain't Got No Home" beautifully demonstrate, it's ridiculous for a singer to alter song lyrics to correspond to his or her lifestyle. Anyone can sing like a girl, or a frog, or a sisterless singleton without a place to call home. That's because (drumroll, please!) it's just a song