Some Forgotten Saints You Might Want to Call Upon in Your Hour(s) of Needcourtesy of
William Keckler1. Saint Grippius--Patron Saint of Jar Lids So Tight They Drive One to Blasphemy or to Sell One's Immortal Soul
2. Saint Orapurulentia--Patron Saint of Tongue Piercings Which Get Infected and Do Not Respond to Amoxicillin or Second or Third Line Antibiotics
3. Saint Blepharius--Patron Saint of Annoying But Probably Harmless Eyelid Twitches
4. Saint Prophylactscissus ("Father Rough Plow")--Patron Saint of Broken Condoms (better offer a Novena!)
5. Saint Uhmm--Patron Saint of Awkward Silences
6. Saint Papyrmnesia--Patron Saint of Forgotten or Lost Receipts
7. Saint Hydromnesia of Antigua--Patron Saint of Those Who Forget to Flush (especially before the arrival of company)
8. Saint Pousseriana--Patron Saint and Protectress of
Dust Bunnies9. Saint Orthoplastia--Patron Saint of Plastic Surgery Gone Awry
10. Saint Pseudomirthia--Patron Saint of Those Who Must Fake Laughter at the Unfunny Humor of Bosses, Spouses, etc. (She will help loyal supplicants conjure a suitably "believable" fake titter).
