CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
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A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.
April 30, 2007

Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? (permalink)

As you know, perfume is mostly composed of alcohol.  Did you hear that perfume companies are going to begin marketing alcoholic beverages?  The first will be called "Estée Lager."
> read more from Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? . . .

April 29, 2007

Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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April 28, 2007

Do-Re-Midi (permalink)

Recording artist Ken Clinger's rendition of the One-Letter Words theme song has made another appearance, this time on an album entitled "Cassette Culture Compilation 2."  The album (released by Harsh Reality Music) features new tracks by 28 artists from the U.S. and Europe who first emerged as part of the international cassette-culture scene (1978-1990).
> read more from Do-Re-Midi . . .


Puzzles and Games :: Film-ictionary (permalink)
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April 27, 2007

Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? (permalink)
Gossip A: The way I hear it, Dante and Virgil say Phlegyas the ferryman isn't all he's cracked up to be.  They say he's from the Boondocks.

Gossip B: No, no—he's from out in the Styx.


A scene from the The Divine Comedy: Dante and Virgil carried by Phlegyas on his boat.  From a stained glass window (19th century) in the Poldi Pezzoli Museum in Milan, Italy.  Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.
> read more from Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? . . .


Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)
Obvious and Less Obvious Hiding Places

Most people tried the oldest trick in the book, carrying a small amount of money in an obvious place and hiding the rest in a less obvious place.
—John Farman, The Short and Bloody History of Highwaymen (2002)

> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 26, 2007

Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)
Did you know that L. Frank Baum considered Little Boy Blue to be genuinely overworked?


Collage source material: Top, from Mister Blue: Memoirs Of A Renegade by Edward Bunker.  Bottom left, a hand-colored stencil by James Napoli.  Bottom right, an altered street sign.
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April 25, 2007

The Right Word (permalink)


Can you guess this cartoon's caption?  Highlight this black bar to reveal answer: A tough nut to crack..
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Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids (permalink)
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?

• 7-letter words: 10
• 8-letter words: 2

One 7-letter word is a night-blooming flower. Another is a threadlike appendage. Still another refers to a gang of outlaws.

All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.

Click to display solutions
> read more from Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids . . .

April 24, 2007

Images Moving Through Time (permalink)
I've always suspected that archaeologists have yet to discover the full extent of the ancient Egyptian cat goddess (see below).

If you still don't believe in the cat/pyramid connection, see these:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Exhibit E

Exhibit F

Exhibit G

Exhibit H

Exhibit I


The great Egyptian cat goddess.  The full-size image is available here.

A larger version of this diagram is available here.  "Metalanguage consists of signs that signify something about other signs, but what they signify depends on what relationships those signs have to each other, to the entities they represent, and to the agents who use those signs to communicate with other agents. Figure 1 shows the basic relationships in a meaning triangle (Ogden and Richards 1923). On the lower left is an icon that resembles a cat named Yojo. On the right is a printed symbol that represents his name. The cloud on the top gives an impression of the neural excitation induced by light rays bouncing off Yojo and his surroundings. That excitation, called a concept, is the mediator that relates the symbol to its object." —John F. Sowa, "Ontology, Metadata, and Semiotics."
> read more from Images Moving Through Time . . .


Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)
Obscured Location

The oldest trick in the book is for the rootkit to obscure its own location on the disk.
—Anton Chuvakin, Security Warrior (2004)

> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 23, 2007

Inflationary Lyrics (permalink)

When the "Weekly Rob" blog featured my "Inflationary Lyrics" project, BruceS commented:

Are there pay phones that only take a quarter?  Ours take two, so the tireless updaters would need to rhyme with "50 cents".  Of course, few people use pay phones any more, since everyone (even cavemen, according to TV) now has a cell phone.  Cell phones not only allow people to share their call with strangers, instead of having that annoying isolation of a pay phone box, they also allow us to make and receive calls while driving, sharing lunch with a friend, or disposing of that lunch later in a public facility.  Try any of *that* with a pay phone!

WeeklyRob
responded that "The job of an inflationary lyricist never ends."
* Payphones used to take dimes, but now they take quarters.  Isn't it time to update song lyrics to reflect the realities of inflation?  Alas, it's vastly easier to rhyme the word "dime" than the word "quarter," but here at Inflationary Lyrics Headquarters we have risen to the challenge.  Please join the fun and share your own inflationary lyrics, with both the "before" and "after" versions!
> read more from Inflationary Lyrics . . .


Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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April 22, 2007

Rhetorical Questions, Answered! (permalink)
"What does it take to make you happy?"  For starters, two-weeks on the unspoiled coastline of Bermuda.
> read more from Rhetorical Questions, Answered! . . .

April 21, 2007

Puzzles and Games :: Film-ictionary (permalink)
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April 20, 2007

Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)
Now You See It, Now You Don’t

That is the oldest trick in the book.  Now you see it — now you don’t.
—William N. Jackson, More than a Wish (2004)

> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 19, 2007

The Right Word (permalink)
In a universe defined by a spreadsheet, intangibles don’t exist.
—Tongaroa, Re-Imagineering blog

The Voynich Manuscript is "a mysterious illustrated book with incomprehensible contents.  It is thought to have been written between approximately 1450 and 1520 by an unknown author in an unidentified script and unintelligible language" (Wikipedia).  Every few years, another scientist holds a press conference to declare the book a "hoax."

The book (see high-resolution scans on flickr) is undoubtably an historical document, an artwork, and an insight into psychology (as the creator's brainstorm).  To call it a "hoax" seems so dismissive.  Indeed, it's like missing the forest for the trees.  Whether or not the document encodes specific meaning, it exists and has significance.  One is reminded of ancient petroglyphs, which could be a form of writing, or merely whimsical doodles/graffiti, but certainly "meaningful" and worthy of study (or at least appreciation).  I'm all for computer scientists and cryptographers, but these so-called explanations of the Voynich Manuscript tell more about the tunnel vision of those fields than they do about the manuscript itself.  And I thought only statisticians still cited statistical probabilities with a straight face, everyone else in the world having realized that statistics are, unfortunately, as useless as tomorrow's weather forecast!


> read more from The Right Word . . .


Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? (permalink)
Did you hear about the funnel cake ad campaign involving the Tin Man from Oz?  It was foiled.
> read more from Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? . . .


I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)

From Jonathan Caws-Elwitt:

I was in a public building, and a stranger asked if I knew what time it was. "I think it's about 2:00," I said, "but I can give you a better answer in a second." I fished my watch out of my pocket, and then informed her that "It's 2:00."

Literary humorist Jonathan Caws-Elwitt's plays, stories, essays, letters, parodies, wordplay, witticisms and miscellaneous tomfoolery can be found at Monkeys 1, Typewriters 0. Here you'll encounter frivolous, urbane writings about symbolic yams, pigs in bikinis, donut costumes, vacationing pikas, nonexistent movies, cross-continental peppermills, and other compelling subjects.
> read more from I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought . . .

April 18, 2007

I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)

The Follow Your Bliss Compass is located here.
The La Dolce Vita blog got empowered by my Follow Your Bliss Compass.  Here's an excerpt:

While shopping, I was contemplating on making a large furniture purchase. Undecided, I kept finding reasons not to spend the money. The clerk then said to me "Before you purchase, follow your bliss." What?? How about room theme or color scheme, but bliss? What does bliss have to do with my purchase decision?

Do you ever have the sense of being helped by hidden hands? Today I did... I need to go out and do what makes me come alive. I need to tap into the energy that makes me tick. Bliss comes from within, not from striving for outer appearances or outer circumstances. Living my own unique life in harmony with myself (and my son)... Now, that's bliss.

I found this website (www.oneletterwords.com/bliss) and may spin the wheel on a daily basis. Maybe, just maybe, this will help to keep me on the right track. My "Follow Your Bliss Compass" suggested that it is 'Time for some quiet contemplation'. The comment from the clerk and this compass have already made an empowering change in my life.
> read more from I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought . . .


Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids (permalink)
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?

• 7-letter words: 11
• 8-letter words: 2

One 7-letter word means "a stretch of land."

All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.

Click to display solutions
> read more from Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids . . .

April 17, 2007

Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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The Right Word (permalink)
Here's an excerpt from an article about how "the last semicolon gets the last laugh":

Written language captures things that spoken language never could. Does anyone know, for example, what a semicolon sounds like?

Consider the sentence "Order your furniture on Monday, take it home on Tuesday." With a comma, it means that if you order your furniture on Monday, you can take it home on Tuesday. "Order your furniture on Monday; take it home on Tuesday" is different, however; it is a double command. But sometimes you can't tell the difference between the two sentences simply by hearing them read aloud. You need to see their punctuation to detect the difference.

If you look carefully, Mr. [Geoff] Nunberg said, the world of punctuation has its own rules of power politics. Commas are the weakest, semicolons are middleweight powers and colons are superpowers. Look more carefully and there is even a ranking among semicolons.

The Middleweight of Punctuation Politics
> read more from The Right Word . . .

April 16, 2007

Images Moving Through Time (permalink)
The Presence of Absence

Rich Haswell poses an intriguing question:

When spoken, the word "silence" contradicts its meaning. Gomringer's concrete poem [below left] creates a new and better word for "silence": the void in the middle. That space, that absence, is now filled with an eloquent presence. So then what is the better representation of a dead person, a photograph displayed or no photograph available?



The full size of this illustration is here.

Also of interest, the artistry of Mark Mumford:



"Nothing Ever Happened Here," 2002.  Paper, ink, stainless steel, and vinyl.

> read more from Images Moving Through Time . . .


Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)
"New"

The oldest trick in the world is to put the word “new.”  I mean nothing is older than the idea of the new.
—Christopher Hitchens, “Transcript of People in the News,” CNN (2003)

> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 15, 2007

The Right Word (permalink)
I came across a reference to the film "I Escaped from the Gestapo" (1943), but I somehow misread the last word as "Geppetto" and thought the film was about Pinocchio running away from home.
> read more from The Right Word . . .


Puzzles and Games :: Film-ictionary (permalink)
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April 14, 2007

Puzzles and Games :: D-ictionary (permalink)
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Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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April 13, 2007

Forgotten Wisdom (permalink)
From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:


Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon.  Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
> read more from Forgotten Wisdom . . .


Semicolon's Dream Journal (permalink)
I dreamed I screamed hesitation!
> read more from Semicolon's Dream Journal . . .

April 12, 2007

I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)

Bodhisattva dancers.  Photo from nmazca.blog.
In Japan, most statues of Thousand-Armed Kannon, a Buddhist Goddess of Mercy, show only 42 arms.  Two are normal arms, and the remaining arms each represent the 25 Buddhist worlds.  40 times 25 equals 1000, plus two regular arms equals 1002.  Whether a statue has 42 arms or 1002, it still seems to misrepresent the goddess by minimizing or exaggerating her arms!

Tibetan art seems to have a better grip on one thousand arms.  This painting of Thousand-Armed Chenrezig (a.k.a. Avalokitesvara, the Buddha of Compassion) looks convincing.

This Chinese statue of the Goddess of Mercy also appears to get the number right.

But who's counting?
> read more from I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought . . .


Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)

New Title (Instead of a Raise)

The oldest trick in the world is to give someone a fancy new title instead of a raise.
—”Eric Greenberg, quoted in "From Company Recruiter to 'Nerd-Rustler'" by Mark Leibovich, Washington Post (1998)

> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 11, 2007

Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids (permalink)
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?

• 7-letter words: 10
• 8-letter words: 2
• 9-letter words: 1

One 8-letter words describes someone who is unusually enthusiastic about saving the environment.

All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.

Click to display solutions
> read more from Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids . . .

April 10, 2007

Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? (permalink)
Ma: Tsk, tsk.  Have you seen this new governmental program?  "Accent on Education" they call it.  It's unspeakable!

Pa: Unspeakable?

Ma: See for yourself:


> read more from Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? . . .


Hindpsych: Erstwhile Conjectures by the Sometime Augur of Yore (permalink)
Today's question:

Was New Orleans devastated by Hurricane Katrina?

With "hindpsych," the unfortunate answer is "yes"!  Note that every card in our Tarot spread features wands.  The hermit (left) holds a wooden staff for support.  The central figure struggles to carry a bundle of sticks (still in leaf, as if fallen branches from living trees or uprooted trunks).  And the Page of Wands (right) seems to be planting a tree in a barren landscape. 

We begin with the center card, the Ten of Wands, as it is flanked by two figures facing away from it.  The central figure is saddled with a difficult burden.  He is carrying a heavy load, perhaps laboring to clean up a messy situation.  (Ultimately, he is headed toward the right, where the Page of Wands is planting a tree, so the heavy load in the center picture is more likely saplings, symbolizing the labor and promise of regrowth.)  We see a house and trees in the background; we can easily conclude that the landscape refers to storm-damaged New Orleans and that a time of struggle is looming. 

The two figures facing away from the center card represent two outcomes.  On the left, the Hermit represents receiving guidance and accepting help.  On the right, the Page of Wands symbolizes creatively and wholeheartedly tackling a challenge.  Our spread indicates that New Orleans will experience a "dark night of the soul" (the Hermit) but will blossom again through assertive action (the Page of Wands).  We can say with confidence that New Orleans was ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, and we can now move on.


Tarot cards hand-colored by Prof. Oddfellow from Public Domain artwork.
* Historians must reconstruct the past out of hazy memory.  "Once upon a time" requires "second sight."  The "third eye" of intuition can break the "fourth wall" of conventional perspectives.  Instead of "pleading the fifth," historians can take advantage of the "sixth sense" and be in "seventh heaven."  All with the power of hindpsych, the "eighth wonder of the world."  It has been said that those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.  Therein lies the importance of Tarot readings for antiquity.  When we confirm what has already occurred, we break the shackles of the past, freeing ourselves to chart new courses into the future.
> read more from Hindpsych: Erstwhile Conjectures by the Sometime Augur of Yore . . .

April 9, 2007

I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)

Create a personalized certificate here.
My friend Jonathan wrote to me about "making pesto like an Italian grandmother."  I got to thinking that fresh basil and extra virgin olive oil aren't enough, in and of themselves, to make pesto on par with an Italian grandmother's.  It occurred to me that in order to make pesto like a real Italian grandmother, one would have to somehow be an Italian grandmother.  Improbable, perhaps ... but not impossible, thanks to the Honorary Italian Grandmother (and Saint) Certificate.

Italian grandmothers are famous for being dauntless, affectionate, and inspirational.  The spirit of Nonna, the archetypal Italian Grandmother, is the zest for life.  Nonna is present whenever a family and guests are well fed and whenever something is created by hand, with care and love.

I created the Honorary Italian Grandmother (and Saint) Certificate for those rare individuals with a flair for maintaining tradition, improvising without blinking, and turning anything into a nurturing experience.  The Certificate is personalized in fine calligraphy, easy for you to generate, and completely free!  Click here to check it out.
> read more from I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought . . .


Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)
Never Conceding

The oldest trick in the book is to pass a competitor looking as strong as possible, even if you can only keep it up until you’re out of view.
—Dave Scott, Dave Scott’s Triathlon Training (1986)

> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 8, 2007

I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)
Today's "symbolic outlook" from MysteryArts.com is rather exciting.  Notice the elegant progression of spirals, from a tiny spiraling line within the crystal-ball (left), to the full spiral in the circle (middle), to the uncoiling spirals forming the magic lamp (right).  The small spiral is but one of many things floating inside the crystal ball.  Whether symbolizing a spiritual journey, evolution, growth, or the balance of light and dark (as in ancient Chinese art), the outlook seems to suggest that focusing on the spiral brings it to the foreground and enlarges it.  Then, in the third panel, the spiral doubles itself to cradle the flame of a genii's lamp.  Therefore, looking inward (the crystal ball) provides insights into nurturing the spark of life (the spirit contained within the physical shell of the lamp).  Even better are the captions for each symbol.  Reading left to right, enchantment (finding delight, being charming), if put into motion (acted upon), will fuel the imagination (make-believe, as in the Aladdin story). 


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Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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Puzzles and Games (permalink)


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April 7, 2007

Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids (permalink)
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?

• 7-letter words: 14
• 8-letter words: 5

One 7-letter word refers to a divine or prophetic token.

All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.

Click to display solutions
> read more from Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids . . .

April 6, 2007

Images Moving Through Time (permalink)
From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

This exquisite line from Tim Powers' novel The Anubis Gate inspired my collage.


> read more from Images Moving Through Time . . .


Rhetorical Questions, Answered! (permalink)
"What do you expect?"  Only the very best.
> read more from Rhetorical Questions, Answered! . . .

April 5, 2007

Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? (permalink)

Photo via Devious Bloggery.
I'm as old as my bubble gum and a little older than my tooth decay.
> read more from Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? . . .


Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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April 4, 2007

Strange Dreams (permalink)
In the middle of the night, I woke up briefly with a dream idea I was determined to remember in the morning.  It had something to do with the words zither, blither, wither, and slither, and how they could all be represented by a single picture (like a political cartoon).   I recall that the image would have been ring-shaped, to suggest zithering, blithering, withering, and slithering.  As with too many dream images, the details had faded by the time I got out of bed.  I'm left wondering what the image would have looked like.  Could it have been a droopy fool (a withered, blithering idiot) playing a zither in the shape of an Ouroboros (the snake slithering into a ring)?  As a bonus, the entire image could be dithered!
If you have a strange dream to share, send it along!
> read more from Strange Dreams . . .


Oldest Tricks in the Book (permalink)
Mutual Goals

Oldest trick in the book, gentlemen.  You take your weakest grunt, you pair him with your strongest, then you give ’em mutual goals to motivate ’em.
—Ben Weaver, Brothers in Arms (2001)



From Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift.
> read more from Oldest Tricks in the Book . . .

April 3, 2007

Images Moving Through Time (permalink)
Each one of the pictures below is entitled "Unknown Fisherman."  Is an Unknown Fisherman some sort of archetypal figure?  He is symbolic by his very nature, for we know nothing about him.  What does his appearance suggest?  Is he a manifestation of the Fisher King of Arthurian legend?  And/or a Christ figure?  Does he hold the Salmon of Wisdom from Irish mythology?

Here's an anecdote by a person who carried an Atlantic salmon fly from one corner of Europe to the other, with the sole purpose of giving it to an unknown fisherman.  The quest sounds like some sort of pilgrimage, and the gift sounds like a tribute to a deity.

Here's a tomb to the "Unknown Fisherman."

Here's a website all about ritual symbolism associated with fishing.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I am against the pestering and/or killing of fish.)


Top left, The Unknown Fisherman.  Top right, the Unknown Fisherman who caught a 22lb4oz hatchery steelhead on the Wynooche in the winter of 2002.  Bottom left, an Unknown Fisherman holding a 4-foot long 20 Lb  Northern Pike in the year 1900.  Bottom right, an Unknown Fisherman circa 2000-2001, participating in the Carmel River Steelhead Catch and Release Program.
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April 2, 2007

The Right Word (permalink)

Barry Foy has created a pioneering culinary reference work consisting entirely
of lies.  He explains:

The market for food books appears, at last, to have begun devouring itself.  Nearly every topic worth writing about has been written about, and the well of reliable, interesting information on food, once thought inexhaustible, is beginning to run dry.

In circumstances such as these, author Barry Foy believes that an honorable writer has nowhere to go but sideways, into the realm of lies, misleading claims, and baseless speculation. With its hundreds of entries on subjects ranging from ingredients to utensils to techniques, plus its you-are-there historical coverage of everything from the little-known Icelandic roots of cheese to the strange case of Emil the Talking Black-Eyed Pea, The Devil's Food Dictionary promises much-needed relief to the foodish reader who finds him/herself sagging under the burden of informativeness and credibility.

Here's an hilarious sample from Foy's book:

smorgasbord  also smörgasbord; smorgäsbord; smorgasbörd; smörgasbörd; smörgäsbord; smorgäsbörd; smörgäsbörd; smörgäsbörrd: A lavish Swedish buffet traditionally consisting of four courses plus dessert. The first course is always herring, the undisputed king of Scandinavian foods. This can include pickled, smoked, and/or fried herring, as well as pickled smoked herring, pickled fried herring, and fried smoked herring. The second course moves on to other types of seafood, such as salmon in herring sauce, herring-smoked eels, and jellied sprats (a relative of the herring). Third come meats such as veal and beef in various delectable forms, but the unpopularity of those dishes--owing to their lack of herring--usually results in their being donated to Somali refugee centers. The fourth course features traditional hot dishes, such as sprat gratin (herring can be substituted), baked onions stuffed with herring paste, and/or meatballs molded in the shape of a herring (or a sprat). The dessert lineup is enshrined in tradition and unfailingly includes herringberry coffee cake, creamy cheesecake from which all herring (or sprat) bones have been painstakingly removed, and s'mores, the chocolate-marshmallow-graham cracker confection after which the smorgasbord is named.
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Uncharted Territories (permalink)
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Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids (permalink)
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?

• 7-letter words: 12
• 8-letter words: 4

One 7-letter word is a synonym for sailors, and one refers to things that go bump in the night.

All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.

Click to display solutions
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April 1, 2007

I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought (permalink)

Q: How do they make rye bread?

A: It's grown from caraway seeds.

(Literary humorist Jonathan Caws-Elwitt's plays, stories, essays, letters, parodies, wordplay, witticisms and miscellaneous tomfoolery can be found at Monkeys 1, Typewriters 0.  Here you'll encounter frivolous, urbane writings about symbolic yams, pigs in bikinis, donut costumes, vacationing pikas, nonexistent movies, cross-continental peppermills, and other compelling subjects.)
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Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up? (permalink)
Q: What did an exhausted Santa say to Mrs. Claus after delivering presents to the tropical forest?

A: It's a jingle out there.
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