CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
When plastering the walls with jewels, substitute cut glass for diamonds. You'll get tons of sparkle as you help to ease the deterioration of the financial situation in France.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
"[W]here are the words to describe the glorious colours that are unknown to earthly eyes? Where the mind or imagination that can grasp the gorgeous scintillations of unheard-of rays as they emanate from the thousand nameless jewels of Barsoom?" —Edgar Rice Burroughs, The Gods of Mars, 1918 (via DJMisc)
"All those things for which we have no words are lost. The mind—the culture—has two little tools, grammar and lexicon: a decorated sand bucket and a matching shovel. With these we bluster about the continents and do all the world's work. With these we try to save our very lives." —Annie Dillard
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
SONG: Don't Drop that Dime
ARTIST: Velvet Revolver
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
Sweet Caroline o' mine, don't drop that dime on me tonight.
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
Sweet Mahler, I holler, don't drop that dollar on me tonight.
* Payphones used to take dimes, but now they take quarters. Isn't
it time to update song lyrics to reflect the realities of
inflation? Alas, it's vastly easier to rhyme the word "dime" than
the word "quarter," but here at Inflationary Lyrics Headquarters we
have risen to the challenge. Please join the fun and share your
own inflationary lyrics, with both the "before" and "after" versions!
"Someone ought to write a Book of Etiquette for Scientific Institutes which would enumerate the do's and don'ts for such occasions." —Institute of Vitreous Enamellers, Metal Finishing Journal, 1966, p. 194.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
Answer:22. Catch-18 was the original title of Joseph Heller’s novel, but it was changed when a competing novel about WWII also had 18 in the title. The number 14 was initially suggested, but Heller's editor Robert Gottlieb felt 22 was a funnier number than 14. (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
Clue: This is according to Always Tip the Dealer by Gary Ross
Answer:eighty grand. “Eighty grand looks funnier than a cigar. A lot funnier. People laugh.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Gary Ross, Always Tip the Dealer (1982), p. 145.
* A manual for typographers published in 1917 acknowledged that there are many beautiful forms of the ampersand, yet it forbade their use in "ordinary book work." Extraordinary books are another matter. Our lavishly illustrated Ampersand opus explores the history and pictography of the most common coordinating conjunction.
"To glack one's mitten" is to put money into someone's hand, as a gift or as a bribe (John Jamieson, An Etymological Dictionary of the Scottish Language, Vol. 2).
Dedicated to the people of the Lower Peninsula of Michigan — an inspiration to us all. (This parody was sparked by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.)
"Fresh snow reminds me of a magician's hankie covering the magic
happening beneath. Soon it will be pulled back, and surprise! It is
spring!" —Dr. Bill Gordon
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
I found "clonings" as my first word and that was enough of an achievement to earn me three hours of bad television. Or so I rationalized. If cloning is not there, don't tell me. I didn't click on the answers. As soon as I saw I-N-G-S I knew the God of the Grid wouldn't be so cruel as to give us that convenient coda without providing at least one word to pin it to.
Nada writes:
Are gabions the elemental particles of insubstantial talk?
I'm a dime I'm fine And I shine, I'm freshly minted
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
I'm a quarter I oughta Be hotter than a yachter
---
CakeFan writes:
Cake's lyrics are the bestest. I like your update. I thought it was so hokey when Chris Meloni as Detective Whoever on Law & Order SVU was waiting by a payphone saying, "Come on...drop a dime on us" about some criminal whose call they were expecting. First, nobody says that anymore. Because it hasn't been a dime in ages. Next, it means to rat somebody out, and they were waiting for a call from a serial killer leaving clues, i.e. he was not ratting on anyone. And lastly, the show just sucked. It sucked donkey dong the way the Dutch language sucks vowels. Chris Meloni is now trapped in the universe of Being Chris Meloni. This happens to so many actors. It should have a name and a diagnosis that ends in "Syndrome."
Prof. Oddfellow responds:
Yes, so many actors get trapped in the universe of Being [Said Actor] that there should indeed be a name and diagnosis that ends in "Syndrome." May I suggest that the word "Depp" be incorporated into the name?
---
* Payphones used to take dimes, but now they take quarters. Isn't
it time to update song lyrics to reflect the realities of
inflation? Alas, it's vastly easier to rhyme the word "dime" than
the word "quarter," but here at Inflationary Lyrics Headquarters we
have risen to the challenge. Please join the fun and share your
own inflationary lyrics, with both the "before" and "after" versions!
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
"Nothing is harder, yet nothing is more necessary, than to speak of certain things whose existence is neither demonstrable nor probable. The very fact that serious and conscientious men treat them as existing things brings them a step closer to existence and to the possibility of being born." —Hermann Hesse, The Glass Bead Game, translated by Richard & Clara Winston
* Though printed in black and white, great literature is bursting with vibrant colour. In this rebus-style puzzle, color words and parts of words have been replaced with colored boxes. Try to guess the exact hue of each. Roll your mouse over the colored boxes to reveal the missing words. Click the colored boxes to learn more about each hue. Special thanks to Paul Dean for his colorful research.
![The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine](/weblog/images/covers/ghost-scanning-machine.png)
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?
by 
