CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
"'If all the dew were diamonds,' Pablo said, 'we would be very rich. We would be drunk all our lives.'" —John Steinbeck, Tortilla Flat, 1935. (via DJMisc)
Which quotation is accurate?
A: "Clownfish are funnier than any other type of fish.”
B: "Clownfish are no funnier than any other type of fish.”
Clue: This is according to a Disney Finding Nemo book
Answer:B. "Strictly speaking, clownfish are no funnier than any other type of fish. But it never hurts to have a few good jokes on hand.” —Don't Invite a Shark to Dinner and Other Lessons from the Sea (2003), p. 71 (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
"There ought to be a book which gives an account of God as involved in human experience, privately and publicly, without any religious import or even overtones." —Paul Weiss, Philosophy in Process, 1955, p. 76.
This is an *essential* guide to Unicorn identification. It is an ancient historical manuscript, containing lore passed down through the ages by Unicorn scholars, Unicornologists, and various wizards. Highly recommended reading.
Haha, glad to see you noticed; the guide is easily one of the most entertaining things I've ever read, and the tone is perfect for the kind of blog I run. Keep up the good work.
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
* Though printed in black and white, great literature is bursting with vibrant colour. In this rebus-style puzzle, color words and parts of words have been replaced with colored boxes. Try to guess the exact hue of each. Roll your mouse over the colored boxes to reveal the missing words. Click the colored boxes to learn more about each hue. Special thanks to Paul Dean for his colorful research.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
If you are interested in the history of the ampersand and other interesting trivia about it, this is definitely the book to get.
* A manual for typographers published in 1917 acknowledged that there are many beautiful forms of the ampersand, yet it forbade their use in "ordinary book work." Extraordinary books are another matter. Our lavishly illustrated Ampersand opus explores the history and pictography of the most common coordinating conjunction.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
I have attended the seances of the living. There is a hush in the near-twilight as the transparent souls gather. We hover above the cellphone placed in the long grass over the gravesite. Our incorporeal fingers attempt to reach through the veil between what is and what was to press upon the glowing numbers of the cellphone. "Dial the ten-fold numbers of the living," one of us says. "The numbers are eleven," I say, "for after death, everything is long distance."
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
* A manual for typographers published in 1917 acknowledged that there are many beautiful forms of the ampersand, yet it forbade their use in "ordinary book work." Extraordinary books are another matter. Our lavishly illustrated Ampersand opus explores the history and pictography of the most common coordinating conjunction.
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
A long exposure shot of the twilit Blue Bayou at Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean captured some glyphs created by the erratic movement of animatronic fireflies. (See lower right of photo.)
We made vector clipart of the (un)natural squiggles (click to download EPS):
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
"There should be a book titled 'How News Is Made,' a book that could be for journalism what 'The Jungle' was to the meatpacking industry." —Dale Dougherty, "How News is Made," boingboing.net, Nov 29, 2005.
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Lulu and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle.
I hope I never look like that person on the coin, because I think that's the look of selfishness. I'd rather have an altruistic look, especially when I'm old and hair is growing out of my ears.
* Ellipses don’t merely omit superfluous words or mark pauses. Far from
it! In an astonishing number of cases, the ellipses illustrate a
narrative, inviting the reader to “connect the dots.” Learn more about Annotated Ellipses at Amazon.com.
SONG: Love at the Five and Dime
ARTIST: Nanci Griffith
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
Dance a little closer to me, 'cause it's closing time And love's on sale tonight at this five and dime
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
Dance a little closer to me, on this squallored floor 'Cause love's on sale tonight at this Dollar Store
* Payphones used to take dimes, but now they take quarters. Isn't
it time to update song lyrics to reflect the realities of
inflation? Alas, it's vastly easier to rhyme the word "dime" than
the word "quarter," but here at Inflationary Lyrics Headquarters we
have risen to the challenge. Please join the fun and share your
own inflationary lyrics, with both the "before" and "after" versions!
In his book . . . writer and renowned unicorn researcher, Craig Conley describes places to search for these mythic creatures and ways to do so. This is a practical handbook that draws liberally from literature and other written sources to illustrate its points. . . . Yesterday I set out to collect an experience of listening for unicorns accompanied by a willing, limber horsewoman and opti-mystic (one who believes in miracles). Our path took to a limb and leaf strewn, moss frosted hill down to a lively flow of water that has painstakingly and persistently carved the layers upon layers of hardened Kentucky limestone into hundreds, even thousands, of the most beautifully sculpted fairy landscaping vignettes the eye and mind can ever hope to behold.
Marti shares four gorgeous photos and one video of the fairy landscape. The photos . . .
show a place located between the pasture I see every day when I look out the window over my kitchen sink and the rise just beyond. It may have been there since the day I moved here six years ago. Is it odd I just discovered it? Not really, I just started looking.
Unicorns live in places usually described as being so impossible to conceive of let alone view from one’s usual vantage they become not just invisible, but non-existent. In the field of equine advocacy right now there is a dichotomy of thought so rife with conflict, so infused with righteous and conflictual fervor it is hard to imagine any common ground.
That it does exist is without question to the Opti-Mystic. It is beautiful, stable and teaming with unicorns. Right now both sides claim that no such place does nor even can exist and for them in this moment this is quite true. But some of us are quite aware that just because they can’t see, feel, taste, hear or otherwise perceive this place conventionally right now doesn’t mean it isn’t there, and doesn’t likewise mean they are unable to do so ever. All it means is they haven’t ventured out beyond their typical boundaries to have a look or a listen.
We're particularly delighted by Marti's conclusion:
As I search for unicorns I find I am surrounded by leagues of the creatures. Sparkly, ice-white, speckled starry night apaloosaed. Minuscule and humongous. Breezy and cheesy. They nicker and whicker at me using windchimed breezes, and baby step agreements from yin yang parties always encouraging me to live in the land of positive outcome. As though it exists. And dang if it does after all. Without exception.
![The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine](/weblog/images/covers/ghost-scanning-machine.png)
by 
This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?
