An illustration from an 1892 issue of English Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from an 1890 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads simply: "My rods."

"This may surprise you, but recent US surveys show that more women prefer to be addressed by their full name than by Ms. followed by the last name." —Deborah Dumaine & Elisabeth C. Healey, Instant-Answer Guide to Business Writing

An illustration from an 1879 issue of Harper's magazine.

"The future?  There's no such thing as the future!"
—Gustav Meyrink, Walpurgisnacht

An illustration from an 1884 issue of London Society Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "The misadventures of an amateur conjurer."

"A rose is a rose but ... a rabbit is the moon."
—Codices of México and Their Extraordinary History

"A book is a version of the world.  If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return."
—Salman Rushdie

An illustration from Scribner's magazine, 1921.  Dedicated to Gordon Meyer, just the same.

Whisked away by the devil: an illustration from an 1858 issue of Harper's magazine.

An illustration from an 1862 issue of Harper's magazine.

"It is a basic concept that bears repeating: Effective communication requires repetition."
—Harriet Hankin, The New Workforce

"The answer is simple. ... Call the number.”

—American Motorcyclist (July 1990)

Ah, the good-old-days, when waiting for the next slide in a slide show was fraught with momentousness.  The caption reads, "Just at that moment the showman thrust [emphasis ours] a fresh slide into his lantern, and presented to them another scene even more startling than the first."  Today's Flash slide shows aren't nearly so flashy, eh?  How can a showman thrust [emphasis ours again, though all this thrusting is admittedly wearing us out] a JPG?  We're reminded of beloved British comedian Stewart Lee, who recently asked his audience if anyone was old enough to remember when there were actually things, like letters written on paper or music recorded onto plastic discs.  This item from Frank Leslie's Illustrated, 1891, will forever make us pine for the nearly unbearable drama of magic lantern slides every time we open a lousy JPG.

An illustration from a 1913 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Fairy Princess, last night I was a goldfish: to-night I am an enchanted lover."

"A backlink — this may surprise you — is a link back to your site."
—Peter Kent, Search Engine Optimization For Dummies

An illustration from a 1922 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "It was a moment of unendurable silence when anything monstrous might happen."

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

"Call it a hunch."
"Call it anything you like, it's still odd."
—Sue Grafton, U is for Undertow


A still from the perennially hilarious Young Frankenstein.

A floating house party from an 1881 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.

"Don't take this the wrong way.  I've been down that road, so I'm the last person to criticize.  All I'm saying is, watch it."
—Darlene Quinn, Twisted Webs

An illustration from a 1912 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "I saw the figure gliding toward me, its death-mask grinning as if with pleasure to find at least the room inhabited by a human—I marked the eyeholes of doom, seeming to glow red in the fire-lit room, and the bony hand holding on high what I guessed, I knew, to be a cup of poison meant for me!"

"'A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose' — and enough is enough is enough."
—Shana Alexander, "The Case for Jean Harris," New York Magazine (April 7, 1986)

"For a man who denies belief in the paranormal, you're putting a lot of faith in a hunch."
—Kay Hooper, Touching Evil (2001), as if describing the plot of Young Frankenstein


A still from the perennially hilarious Young Frankenstein.

Someone should write a book entitled:

My Emphasis: Notes from an Attentive Reader

[thank you, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt!]

An illustration from an 1893 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Death the final sovereign of the world."

I'm older than I look.

An illustration from a 1915 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.

Prof. Oddfellow offers this free vintage clip-art question mark, originally appearing in a 1914 issues of Harper's Magazine and painstakingly restored to its original glory. The image is available for download in high-resolution GIF and vector EPS formats.

An illustration from an 1864 issue of Harper's magazine.

"The message is clear but bears repeating: Motors are servants to the systems they are connected to and cannot be evaluated alone."
—Steve Doty & Wayne C. Turner, Energy Management Handbook

"The answer is simple.  Ask no one but the author of the act.”

—The Twentieth Century (1877)

The Toronto Review of Books takes on our latest collaborative work, Franzlations: The Imaginary Kafka Parables.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Ponce de León Revealed as the Legendary "Ninth Immortal” of Chinese Mythology

St. Augustine, Florida - The saintly "Eight Immortals” of ancient Chinese folklore are finally ready to play ball as an unlikely ninth comes up to bat: famed Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León (1474 - ∞).

De León’s highly unusual autograph reveals a desire for eternal life that transcends his well-known quest for the Fountain of Youth.  The serpentine lines of his elaborate signature trace back to the primitive magical diagrams of Taoism, the native religion of China. 

De León’s signature is a talismanic ideograph composed of "heavenly characters” from ancient Chinese "cloud script.”  This strange, stylized calligraphy of sacred symbols for cosmic truth was meant to transform an ordinary piece of paper into a passport for visiting the other (spiritual) world.  In De León’s case, the figurative other world doubled as the literal New World.

Note that the Latin alphabetic characters of De León’s signature are flanked by two Taoist ideograms, to be read right to left.  At first glance the cloud script resembles two serpents winding around rods of Asclepius (an apt symbol of healing and rejuvenation) or perhaps the Taoist equivalent of "footprints of the Buddha” (if the enlightened one were wearing two-toed mitten-style slippers).  However, the ideograms are actually two brimming chalices, wordlessly symbolic of an overflowing cornucopious primordial essence.  The first chalice is worldly, the second celestial.

De León’s immortality is written into his very signature.  But the aim of Taoism is not mere longevity.  The highest goal of the Taoist sage is to transcend the human realm and to unite with the eternal Cosmos.  To attain this goal via an elixir of healing waters is the debased "earth approach,” condemned by the great masters.  The genuine "heaven approach” involves dedicated meditation to align one’s vital energies with the universal flow.

De León now ranks as a idol of imperishability and prosperity alongside Immortal Woman He, Royal Uncle Cao, Iron-Crutch Li, Lan Caihe, Lü Donbin, Philosopher Han Xiang, Elder Zhang Guo, and Han Zhongli.

Staring into the depths: an illustration from an 1897 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "There's a thing in that ocean that would astonish you if you saw it."

Dedicated to Jonathan due to "things."

"This may surprise you, but we all love somebody sometimes with all of our heart in spite of common sense and social barriers." —Judith Petres-Balogh, Beyond Conventions (2002)

An illustration from a 1922 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "He never removed his attention from the thread of red sand trickling from bulb to bulb."

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"That you forgive yourself."  —Roxanne St. Claire, Edge of Sight

It's not every day that one's photo of the Temple of the Forbidden Eye is used to illustrate a Doom Metal / Death Metal / Black Metal track entitled "Under Rotting Sky."  But today isn't just any day, and "Under Rotting Sky" isn't just any Doom Metal / Death Metal / Black Metal track.  Consider yourself th-angst, Pseudomancer!

An illustration from an 1895 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.  The caption reads: "The San Francisco demon."

"In the end, why shouldn't a madman rule the world?"
—Gustav Meyrink, Walpurgisnacht

An illustration of a seance from a 1900 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "'There is much power,' said the Frenchman."

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

photo by Cobalt 123

"'George W. Bush is the Antichrist,' Anna said, apparently apropos of nothing."
—Nevada Barr, Winter Study

Here's an example of "air quotes" from 1893:

[Said of an expletive:]  "It isn't any harm when you crook your finger for quotation-marks."
—Amélie Rives, Barbara Dering (1893), p. 124

An illustration from an 1895 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "Peach day."

Dedicated to Teresa Burritt.

"A rose is a rose, but a rosé is 'white.'"
—Wine for Dummies

"Keep out of these woods":  an illustration from a 1922 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from a 1916 issue of Scribner's magazine.  The caption reads: "And now you'll never, never write the great American novel!"

An illustration from an 1864 issue of Harper's magazine.

"The point bears repeating here.  The issue is not whether mistakes are made, but whether anyone learns from them."
—Morgan W. McCall et al., The Lessons of Experience

"The answer is simple ... an insecure and inflated ego.”

—Miller Williams, Making a Poem (2006)

The Toronto Standard on our latest book, Franzlations:

An illustration from an 1894 issue of The Strand magazine.

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

"This may surprise you . . . The placebo effect has its own power and legitimacy."
—Stephen P. Kelner, Motivate Your Writing! (2005)

After working for two years on Franzlations: The Imaginary Kafka Parables, we found ourselves in St. Augustine in search of a cure for phantom spider legs syndrome.

An illustration from an 1896 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "The midnight presence of the uncanny."

"Now, please don't take this the wrong way, we value your work immensely, but we've all been a little worried about you, and, well ... we think it might be good for you to get some rest."
—Olga Grushin, The Dream Life of Sukhanov

An illustration from a 1901 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "Wabbling jellies of knowledge."

"You know, the terrible thing is that ... that you never grow old."
—Gustav Meyrink, Walpurgisnacht

Gordon spotted our Divination by Punctuation sitting among good company at Chicago's Quimby's Bookstore.  Thanks, Gordon!

Shooting a serpent in a stone circle: an illustration from a 1900 issue of The Strand magazine.

"Every sentence includes an infinity of words; one perceives only a few of them, the others being in the infinite or being imaginary."
—Raymond Queneau, qtd. in OULIPO: A Primer of Potential Literature

"It is not a good idea to combine symbols; the forces that stand behind them can easily start to mingle."
—The Angel in the West Window, Gustav Meyrink's novel of the Elizabethan magus John Dee (our own 9th cousin)

Praise for The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine:

An illustration from an 1897 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.

"A rose is a rose (even without a bloom)."
—The American Rose Annual (1972)

An illustration from a 1922 issue of Century Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "She was sifting from palm to palm the red dust that is dust of a vanished race."

A blank(ed) map from a 1901 issue of Scribner's magazine:

An illustration from an 1863 issue of Harper's magazine.

"Begin by paying attention to your breath (and, yes, I know I'm repeating myself, but it bears repeating—we forget so fast and so often)."
—James S. Gordon, Unstuck

"The answer is simple:  It’s a government cover- up!”

—Network World (Jan. 10, 2000)

Staring into the depths: an illustration from a 1910 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "For a long while she sat, her cheek resting on one palm, looking fixedly into space."

"If I were a writer, how I would enjoy being told the novel is dead.  How liberating to work in the margins, outside a central perception.  You are the ghoul of literature. Lovely."
—Don Delillo

"This may surprise you, but in order to escape yourself you must first stop trying to forget your worries, doubts, and fears."
—Guy Finley, The Secret of Letting Go (2007)

An illustration from a 1919 issue of Harper's magazine.

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

"This is the really incomprehensible side of humanity, people never have time for anything."
—Leonora Carrington, The Hearing Trumpet

(On a related note, here's our earlier list of "The Problem[s] With People.")

An illustration from a 1910 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Wallingford hung his head.  Toad had been right.  The booger man had got him."

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook (and dedicated to Hugh Thomas):

"A rose is a rose is a rose; but the examined rose is a sonnet."
—Natalie Angier, The Canon

Thanks to Nathalie Foy for exploring some of the surprisingly ghoulish definitions in our dictionary of one-letter words:

http://nathaliefoy.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/one-letter-words-a-dictionary-by-craig-conley/

An illustration from an 1884 issue of Harper's magazine.

Momus suggests that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out.'"
Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

THE VELVETEEN RABBIT by Margery Williams

There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid.  He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen.  On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy's stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.

(Thanks, June!)