An illustration from an 1880 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.

An illustration from an 1897 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "A multitude of crows hopped and fought over the skeletons of the dead."

Dedicated to Gordon.

"Call it a hunch or a last-ditch effort.  Heck, go ahead and call it insanity."
—Geoffrey Verdegast, Of Staves and Sigmas (2007), as if describing Young Frankenstein


A still from the perennially hilarious Young Frankenstein.

An illustration from an 1882 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from an 1897 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "The weight of the Earth is equal to the weight of 78 moons (nearly)."

"This may surprise you, but insuring your child isn't the most important issue."
—Jack Hungelmann, Insurance for Dummies

An illustration from an 1880 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.  The caption reads: "Suddenly the damask curtains at the window near the bedside parted, and an icy hand emerged, with the pallid blue glare of the moon shining brightly upon it—the ghastly hand of a corpse."

An illustration from an 1899 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "Retrieving fallen baggage."

"It bears repeating that your resignation is not the time to air your grievances."
—Martin Yate, Knock 'em Dead

An illustration from an 1882 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.

An illustration from an 1869 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "Heroic self-sacrifice."

"The answer is simple.  It begins with confidence.”

—Kiplinger’s Personal Finance (Feb, 1950)

An illustration from an 1895 issue of English Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from a 1901 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Drawing a mystic half-circle on the floor."

"Don't take this the wrong way, dude, but how do I know you're for real?"
—Mark A. Roeder, This Time Around

We're beyond honored by the scintillating glories bestowed upon us for our discoveries of precursors to Disneyland's Haunted Mansion, by no less than an esteemed Doctor of Biblical Studies.  We'll diligently endeavor to live up to the praise, Doctor!  Meanwhile, be sure to lose yourself (as we have done countless times) in the doctor's delightful "Long-Forgotten" Haunted Mansion archives.

An illustration from an 1895 issue of English Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from an 1891 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "Look!  Spiders' webs!"

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

An illustration from an 1874 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from an 1868 issue of The Idler magazine.  The caption reads: "I knew that a fearful and agonising death was nigh."

photo by Cobalt 123

"'There does not seem to be half enough time in life,' George observed, one day, apropos of nothing in particular."
—Edward Garrett, "Crooked Places," Arthur's Illustrated Home Magazine

An illustration from an 1878 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from a 1914 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "His head fell against the rose-patterned carpet of the lodging-house room.  Diana, raising her arched neck, calmly stared at something beyond the wall of the room."

"This bears repeating.  Abridgments address themselves to the needs of the times in which they are produced."
—Edward Gibbon, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

"A Transfusion of Souls": an illustration from an 1890 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.  The caption reads: "We seated ourselves by the table facing each other, and clasped our right hands together."

An illustration from a 1902 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "Shooting through barrel balanced on one foot."

"This may surprise you, but you don't have the corner on the market of dreams."
—Roxanne Henke, Finding Ruth (2003)

An illustration from an 1879 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from an 1878 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "Nearing the end."

"'Rose is a rose is a rose.'  Except, perhaps, when it's grown for its hips."
—Peter Schneider, Right Rose, Right Place

"The Distracted Musician": an illustration from an 1897 issue of The Ludgate Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from an 1868 issue of Harper's magazine.

"The answer is simple.  Because we want it to, indeed we yearn for it to.”

—ThirdWay (May 2004)

An illustration from an 1895 issue of English Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "'My own self,' said I."

An illustration of Hindu conjurers, from a 1921 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

"After all [comma] champagne should be a celebration and a properly popping cork is its first hurrah [exclamation point]" —Bryce Courtenay, Brother Fish (2004)

An illustration from an 1892 issue of Harper's magazine.

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"That you give all your heart and soul to the training."  —Rami Kivisalo, The Red Scorpion

The tragically wrecked cruise ship in Italy recalls the great lesson of Hinayana ("Little Boat") Buddhism: you're already on the shore.

An illustration from an 1897 issue of The Ludgate Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "Seated by the other Stephen King."

An illustration from a 1901 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Fear."

"The placid stream of my existence must mingle with the great river of my kindred that flowed underground, as it were, until it gushed forth at my feet and now bears me away – – –"
—Gustav Meyrink, The Angel of the West Window

"Mad Impulse": an illustration from an 1876 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.  The caption reads: "My assault was so sudden, that, without even a cry, he tottered, threw up his arms, and the next instant the place that had known him was empty."

Dedicated to Teresa Burritt.

An illustration from an 1891 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "Who was it who hit the Ace?"

"It bears repeating that while the physical property of neurons firing is correlated with the subjective experience we call mental activity, no one knows exactly how this actually occurs."
—Daniel J. Siegel, Mindsight

Thanks to Jeff Hawkins.

The [blank] That Ate Cleveland:


(Thanks, Jonathan!)

"The Bird-charmer": an illustration from an 1873 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

Staring into the depths: an illustration from a 1913 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Gazing at a lighted candle through a paper cone."

"This may surprise you, but Jesus has a sense of humor."
—Celeste Perrino Walker & Eric D. Stoffle, Sunny Side Up (1997)

An illustration from an 1874 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from an 1893 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Strangers to the universal panic."

"A rose is a rose is a weed in my book."
—Twila Van Leer, Life is Just a Bowl of Kumquats

"The Friends": an illustration from an 1853 issue of Graham's magazine.

An illustration from an 1869 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "The night-watch."

"The answer is simple — it’s not possible.”

—Ivan Cury, Directing and Producing for Television (2006)

An illustration from an 1880 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.

An illustration from an 1898 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "I was a great cloud anchored to my body."

"I respect you a lot, so don't take this the wrong way.  As long as it doesn't directly affect you, I don't see where you get off making a judgment."
—Mariah Stewart, Moments in Time

An illustration from an 1899 issue of English Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "Tis now the very witching time of night."

Staring into the depths: an illustration from a 1903 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Subject fixes the gaze on dancing mirrors."

"The surprising truth is that people respect people more when they can face reality and seek the help they need."
—Robert D. Ramsey, How to Say the Right Thing Every Time (2002)

"There is another way": an illustration from an 1897 issue of The Ludgate Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from an 1858 issue of Harper's magazine.

photo by Cobalt 123

"For instance, when we first sat down, apropos of nothing, he looks up and clenches his fists and goes, 'Life!' really loudly and then had to sort of recompose himself."
—Emma Rathbone, The Patterns of Paper Monsters

An illustration from a 1902 issue of English Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "And then the thing took a certain shape and form."

An illustration from an 1894 issue of Scribner's magazine.

"Well, it bears repeating.  Cars are supposed to run."
—Vivi Andrews, Serengeti Sunrise

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Ponce’s Honor Lionized by Scholar

St. Augustine, Florida — An unlikely quest to vindicate Ponce de León’s integrity has led a lexicographer of magic words to demystify the Fountain of Youth.

Equipped with a portable camera obscura and a reference tome of alchemical symbols, scholar Craig Conley formally verified De León’s prediction that the spring of healing waters would not be guarded by "shapes of magic.”

"De León may have been a visionary,” Conley said, "but his head wasn’t stuck in the clouds.”

Conley, author of Magic Words: A Dictionary (Weiser Books), explained his use of the camera obscura, an antique photographic instrument. 

"Often, magical symbols are only detectable from oblique angles.  The camera obscura projects an upside down image inside its darkened chamber.  It offers a way of studying something without directly looking at it, to examine from a fresh perspective, without preconceptions.”

Indeed, a popular preconception about De León’s motives is what inspired Conley’s own pursuit for vindication.

Just as facts can become muddied over time, folklore can devolve into "fakelore,” as oral historian Richard Dorson dubbed it.

Hence, De León’s quest for the Fountain of Youth is now popularly regarded as a childish pipe dream—a castle in Spain, if you will—even though evidence points toward a scientific initiative.

De León’s level-headedness is self-evident in a conversation with King Ferdinand, transcribed by Eugene Lee-Hamilton in 1891.  De León explained that the Fountain of Youth is a miracle of nature, not of alchemy:

"No shapes of magic guard the potent spring; no circling dragons watch it night and day; no evil angels sit beside its brink, to mirror their dark wings within its waves.  It hath nor spell nor supernatural essence, but is mere natural water,” rich in minerals and salts and filtered through highly potent medicinal mosses.

Ferdinand asked what then guarded the Fountain of Youth.  In answer, De León described the wilds of Florida:

"The dreadful guard of Nature: inextricable forests and morasses, haunts of the panther and all clawed assassins, in whose pestiferous depths and clueless tangle no white man yet has ventured.”

Granted, De León didn’t become associated with healing waters until after his death.  Yet popular legends possess an authenticity independent of cold fact.

For example, the "higher truths” in accounts of Washington’s honesty, Lincoln’s humility, and De León’s derring-do are crucial to American civilization.

Conley affirms that the integrity of folklore calls for preservation, maintenance, and protection.

A scholar of esoterica would seem an unlikely champion of De León’s scientific approach.  Conley explains, "Old-school skeptics are open-minded.  I came to the Fountain of Youth unsure of whether or not I’d find magical symbols.  Frankly, had I found them, it would have been an exciting chapter in the living history of the spring.

"However, I must admit that I’m delighted to vindicate Ponce de León.”

An illustration from a 1902 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "Either you are the spectre, or it is supernatural."

"This may surprise you, but at bottom all your issues are spiritual."
—Nick Wagner, Spiritual Direction in Context (2006)

We see best
by candlelight
—Geof Huth

An illustration from a 1914 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "As she wound her weight of muscle about his trunk, he found himself staring into her face."

"A rose is a rose is a cabbage bud."
—Botany for All Ages

An illustration from an 1897 issue of The Ludgate Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from an 1869 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "Philosophy in the air."

"The answer is simple.  You are going to have more money when you earn more money — and you are going to earn more money when you have more training!”

—Popular Science (Sept. 1931)

An illustration from a 1900 issue of English Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from a 1902 issue of Pall Mall magazine.  The caption reads: "I called the ball and it rolled and wobbled towards me, and I sent it away and it rolled away, and I told it to stop and it stood still."

"It bears repeating: Investing in college summer programs — even if you do A work at the college — is no guarantee of getting in."
—Elizabeth Wissner-Gross, What High Schools Don't Tell You

An illustration from a 1903 issue of English Illustrated magazine.  The caption reads: "I saw the hawk-headed chap promenading slowly up and down the room."

An illustration from a 1900 issue of The Strand magazine.  The caption reads: "I was progressing in great leaps and bounds."

"The surprising truth is this: no so-called psychiatric disorder has ever been proven to be genetic."
—Peter Roger Breggin & Ginger Ross Breggin, The War Against Children of Color (1998)

The ideal vs. the actual: an illustration from an 1892 issue of English Illustrated magazine.

"He lives doubly who also enjoys the past." —Marcus Martial

An illustration from a 1916 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "On the fourth day comes the astrologer from his crumbling old tower."

An illustration from an 1884 issue of Frank Leslie's Pleasant Hours magazine.

An illustration from a 1915 issue of Harper's magazine.  The caption reads: "As he got up and stepped toward a bell, I discovered that he had been sitting on Filber!"

The Shakespeare Papers dedicated an entire issue to one-letter words, and here's one of the pages we contributed.

An illustration from an 1880 issue of Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly magazine.

Staring into the depths: an illustration from an 1893 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.  The caption reads: "Behold, where we shall be tomorrow!"

"This may surprise you, but it is a fact and the majority of the people fail to appreciate the efforts and the money required to properly build permanent highways."
—Hotel Monthly, 1918

"What does it mean?": an illustration from an 1897 issue of The Ludgate Illustrated magazine.

An illustration from an 1889 issue of Scribner's magazine.  The caption reads: "Out of the darkness something white shaped itself."

"And then you go up to it and see, for the sake of argument, that it is an artificial rose."
—Bruno Munari, "A Rose is a Rose is a," Design as Art