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How Would You Like to Be the Ice Man? (1899): Miss Paradis is madly in love with her ice man though she is arranged to be married to a man of her substantial class. Shortly before the wedding she realizes she has eaten so much in the past few weeks (because of her depression) that she is too fat to fit her dress. The ice man arrives with his delivery and she implores him to walk her down the aisle holding the clasps together. Thus they walk out causing an outrage. She declares her love to him. He marries her instead of the arangee (who is not heartbroken as she is fatter than was advertised), all the while with his hand on her back to hold her dress together. |
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How Would You Like to Be the Ice Man? (1899): A young man seeking his fortune is offered an easy job delivering ice - but it soon proves to be more trouble than expected. Can he make all his deliveries before the ice melts or will he "slip up"? |
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How Would You Like to Be the Ice Man? (1899): A book agent calls on a woman, who is engaged in washing clothes. He proceeds to try to convince her that she should buy his book, which she flatly refuses. He then tries to make love to her and embraces her, when the iceman, who is her friend, suddenly enters and proceeds to hammer the dude book agent. After throwing him out, he returns, and is rewarded by his lady love with numerous kisses. This is an excellent lively film. |
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How Would You Like to Be the Ice Man? (1899): Critics remain uncertain as to whether this 80-second kinetoscope release was intended for family viewing or bachelor parties. Though Kodak technicians eventually succeeded in restoring the only surviving print (which had long been encrusted in horseradish mustard), the actions, costumes, and props appear blurry to the point of ambiguity. |
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How Would You Like to Be the Ice Man? (1899): It was backbreaking work, delivering large blocks of ice for the rudimentary air conditioner at the royal palace. But the job was not without its own degree of glamor. For on hot summer days the Ice Man had the privilege of preparing crushed-ice treats for the young prince and princess, and on hot summer nights he rubbed ice cubes on the bodies of court dancers (predating the famous scene in Paul Verhoeven's Showgirls by nearly 100 years. |
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How Would You Like to Be the Ice Man? (1899): Attempting to capitalize on the popularity of Nickelodeons, New York Knickerbocker Ice Co. released this short film intended both to increase their business and personnel. The marketing was extremely creative though risky. It was reasoned that people were "so interested in the invention that they would watch whatever it was showing." The campaign flopped horribly, however, when people realized they were spending a nickel to see an advertisement. |
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None of the synopses above could possibly be legitimate! |
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I give up! What is the answer? |
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