CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.
This May Surprise You

January 10, 2020 (permalink)

"Red-head actors found best for television."  From Popular Mechanics, 1929.
#redhead #weird headline #vintage headline
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January 7, 2020 (permalink)

There were only two lesbians in 1973, though numbers were predicted to grow.  Indeed, as was reported in 2017, "there aren't as many gay people as you think."
#vintage magazine #lesbian
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January 4, 2020 (permalink)

"Eagles soar through air."  News we can believe in, from Clarion Call, 1969.
#eagle #vintage headline
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December 29, 2019 (permalink)

Talking fish like "Billy Bass" are nothing new.  This one, for example, ran a university in 1977.  When these types retire, they go on lucrative speaking tours.  Hence, the "Billy Bass" phenomenon.  From Pembroke's 1977 yearbook.
#vintage photo #vintage yearbook #fish #billy bass
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It isn't a practical joke.  "Typewriter for the blind has six keys."  From Popular Mechanics, 1928.
#typewriter #vintage headline
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December 28, 2019 (permalink)

"Sadism, insanity rampant."  News we can believe, from Clarion Call, 1969.
#insanity #vintage headline #sadism
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December 27, 2019 (permalink)

The phrases "ironed sheet ghost" and "laundered sheet ghost" are both Googlewhacks, delivering zero results.  But we may have ruined that with this controversial new release: Of Feeding & Caring For Sheet Ghosts..  Some folks are saying that the booklet doesn't actually exist.  We offer proof, but as with seemingly all paranormal issues, not everyone agrees on what constitutes actual evidence.

#halloween #ghosts #sheet ghost #hallowe'en #paranormal
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December 26, 2019 (permalink)

When is a white elephant gift not actually a white elephant?  When it's a slime mold.  We were gifted Slime Mould in Arts and Architecture (in honor of our love for Philip K. Dick's character Lord Running Clam, an intelligent slime mold who speaks and has telepathic powers, from the remarkable Clans of the Alphane Moon).  To our surprise, conversation turned to how slime molds urge the legalization of marijuana and an open border to Mexico.  (As the spokesman for the Plasmodium Consortium put it, "Their advice is objective, and transcends our polarized political environment, because they don’t belong to our species.")
#slime mold
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December 24, 2019 (permalink)

Charles Dickens left out this detail: "Yule spirit comes with meatloaf."  From Florida Flambeau, 1959.
#meat #vintage headline #meatloaf #yule spirit
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"Star of Bethlehem - no 'neon' sign."  A headline from The Crusader, 1993.
#star #star of bethlehem #vintage headline
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December 19, 2019 (permalink)

"Moon-gazing techniques are not recommended for solar-gazing."  It's news we can believe, from Clarion Call, 1969.
#moon #vintage headline #moon gazing
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December 17, 2019 (permalink)

Some folks fall asleep by counting sheep, but sheep themselves count ... er ... invisible people in uniforms.  From Nebelspalter, 1922.
#vintage illustration #sheep #uniform
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December 15, 2019 (permalink)

"Everyday life.  Life encompasses ordinary, unordinary."  From Mars Hill's 1979 yearbook.
#vintage yearbook #vintage headline #life #ordinary
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Newspaper problem.  From The [Joliet] Blazer, 1963.
#newspaper #vintage headline #fake news
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December 14, 2019 (permalink)

You may have assumed that the story of Puss in Boots seeking his fortune at the king's palace was a fairy tale.  But this headline from Kentucky Kernel, 1930, announces that "kittens seek state crown."  Acquiring your own crown is easiest once you've learned How to Be Your Own Cat.
#crown #kittens #vintage headline
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December 6, 2019 (permalink)

A friend visiting England spotted a physical manifestation of branching parallel universes in the Churchill War Rooms.  Both doors were locked, so he remained in this timeline.
#alternate reality #parallel universe #doors #alternate universe
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December 3, 2019 (permalink)

"Natural beauty replaced by many extremes."  From Clarion Call, 1963.
#vintage headline #beauty
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November 29, 2019 (permalink)

Unmasking a hitherto unexamined yet deeply complex theme in a classic sitcom, so that fans, old and new, may see the series in an entirely different and more intriguing light.  It's our 19-minute documentary entitled Marooned Gray Areas of Identity on Gilligan's Island.
#gilligan's island #video
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November 22, 2019 (permalink)

Revealed -- a bookworm is the larval stage of a dragon.  From Der Bärenspiegel, 1946.
#vintage illustration #dragon #bookworm
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November 21, 2019 (permalink)

The phrase "Humpty Dumpty's beard" is a Googlewhack.
Illustration from The Lewis Carroll Society of North America's Knight Letter, 2008.
#alice in wonderland #humpty dumpty #egg
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