From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Q: Who sports better painted-on features: Vertigo's Kim Novak or Groucho Marx?
A: Groucho Marx ... though frankly Kim Novak looks more ridiculous.

P.S. May we humbly suggest that anyone who considers Hitchock's Vertigo a masterpiece hasn't seen enough films to posit an opinion.  Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

An associate was worried about an "unexpected big drop" in his Web traffic.  "Unexpected big drop?" I mused.  "That sounds like the perfect epitaph!"

 

Which is funnier: a gun or a knife?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  A knife.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Is it true, as Momus suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"?  Decide for yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . .

EMMA by Jane Austen

Emma Woodhouse, handsome, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy disposition, seemed to unite some of the best blessings of existence; and had lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her. Suddenly, a shot rang out.

FIRST QUARTER (PROGRESSIVE)

"A semicolon of twinkling starlight against a uniform background glow."

—Stephen James O'Meara, Steve O'Meara's Herschel 400 Observing Guide (2007)

 

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Today's Question:

Was King Ludwig II of Bavaria declared insane just days before his mysterious death in 1886?

With hindpsych, the regrettable answer is "yes."  On the left side of our striking Tarot spread, the Moon card speaks of Ludwig's vivid imagination and his shadow self.  Indeed, Ludwig was famous for his moonlit excursions and night owl schedule.  His enemies would have used this card as evidence of chasing after fantasies (at best) and entertaining distorted thoughts.

In the central card, the hands of the lovers don't touch—Ludwig's connection to love isn't through physical union.  Rather, a higher ideal (the angel) governs a mountaintop in the clouds—home of Neuschwanstein castle.  This card would have reminded Ludwig's enemies of the king's failure to secure an alliance through marriage, not to mention the rumors of the king's homosexuality.

On the right, the young man of the Two of Pentacles skillfully juggles a couple of gold coins.  This of course symbolizes the king's playful nature as well as his confident investment in personal projects.  His enemies would have used this card as evidence of reckless spending—note the infinity symbol around the coins.

The moon faces left; the juggler of coins faces right; the lovers in the middle don't touch.  We see an unmistakable polarity in this spread of cards.  Is it evidence of a strong Anima/Animus personality or of mental instability?  Ludwig's enemies saw imbecilic dancing in the juggler and heard mad howling from the moonlit wolves.  They declared the king insane and deposed him in 1886.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Which character from children’s literature is funnier: Stuart Little or Peter Churchmouse?

Clue:  This is according to The Journal of Educational Research

Answer:  Stuart Little  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  The Journal of Educational Research (1920), p. 518. 

Here's Jesse's spot-on Prof. Oddfellow impression!  And it's true: our dictionary of magic words looks best when viewed through novelty eyewear.  Thanks for putting the hologram back into grammar, Jesse!

It seems a rare thing to encounter a source citation within song lyrics.  The first time we noticed the phenomenon was back in 1988, in They Might Be Giants' song "Ana Ng":

 

See our analysis of archetypes from a long time ago in the Star Wars series over at MysteryArts.com.

If, as Robert Louis Stevenson said, "wine is bottled poetry," then Mint Juleps are georgics, vodka is blank verse, and a set of drinks is a roundelay.

---

Jonathan Caws-Elwitt posits:

And Irish whiskey is a limerick?

Prof. Oddfellow answers:

Yes!  And did you know that after a few shots it doubles as an anapestic?

June quips:

I thought tequila would be a lime-rick.

FIRST QUARTER (FUTURE)

"The day is again punctuated."

—Tony Banham, Not the Slightest Chance (2003)

 

What is the origin of the set of dots we use to indicate an omission from writing?

Prof. Oddfellow has traced the dots back to this unretouched mathematical illustration from 1918, showing how to construct an ellipse using circle arcs.  Note the three dots on the right side of the central line.  Our ellipsis dots are, fittingly, born of the ellipse!

True or False: Shakespeare’s “Prince Hal is less humorous than Falstaff.”

Clue:  This is according to a Shakespeare scholar.

Answer:  False.  “Prince Hal himself is no less humorous than Falstaff, while his wit has a dignity and a sarcastic edge not observable in the fat knight’s random and reckless sallies.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Richard Grant White, Studies in Shakespeare (1885), p. 29.

See our guest post at BonnieCehovet.com about the intriguing Tarot archetypes found throughout Tom Stoppard's absurdist film Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.

From our Magic Words outpost at Blogger:

In his novel The Book of Jokes (2009), Momus' narrator lives in a preposterous world governed by the laws of bad jokes and dirty jokes. But the narrator has a revelation concerning the magic of words:

I have discovered that there is a way to escape this grim fate—the misfortune of joke dharma. The solution, I believe, is that I should assume, myself, the responsibility of telling the very jokes which constrain and define me, and to make, each time, a small alteration in their telling, an alteration which restores a few shreds of dignity, human decency, beauty and sensuality to the tale.

It might begin by embroidery; I add a few details which are not normally included in the rush to the punchline. I must ensure that the story is so well-told that my audience loses interest in the farcical pay-off, the money-shot. I tell the tale several times, from different angles and with different emphases, forcing my listeners to pay attention to small formal questions, adverbs rather than verbs, hows rather than whats.

By these methods, little by little, I believe I can improve my world. Even if you are not in the same grim situation as me, you might want to try this technique for yourself. (51-52)

An Italian friend asked about the Franklin penny's motto, "Mind your business."

Q: Does the motto mean "Mind your [own] business" (as in "Mind your beeswax") or "Mind your business [affairs]"?

A. Both: it's a "doubloon entendre."

Q. And, after all, is not eating well what the culinary arts are all about?
A. Yes, it is.
Q. That was actually a rhetorical question. Aren't you supposed to be on break?

—humorist, playwright, neologist, palindromist, parodist, and wit Jonathan Caws-Elwitt

Our friend Jason disagrees with President Obama's chilling decree that information "becomes a distraction."  Indeed, Jason suggests that information ranks only fourth in terms of distraction:

1. Cleavage
2. House flies
3. Shiny objects
4. Information

 

"There's a fine line between networking and not working." —June Conley

Which is funnier: a crow’s cawing or blue jay’s squawking?

Clue:  This is according to Beat poet Allen Ginsberg

Answer:  Blue jay squawking  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Allen Ginsberg, Spontaneous Mind: Selected Interviews, 1958-1996 (2001), p. 373.

I was surprised to discover today that I was quoted in Wikipedia's "acoustic music" entry:

WAXING CRESCENT (PRESENT PERFECT)

"semicolon [;], star [*]"

—Roget's International Thesaurus (1962)

 

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Our Tic Tac Toe generator builds stories out of the one-letter words X and O.  Here's an example, from a photo we spotted at the Frog Blog.  The letters can be translated as follows:

Stitching wonderment
Gladness crossing, multiplying
Round reassurance magnifying

What is funnier than laughing when you shouldn't be laughing?

Clue:  This is according to novelist Rick Hamilin.

Answer:  Nothing.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Rick Hamilin, Reading Between the Lines (2006), p. 111.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

I looked for a punch line when I found a Lorem Ipsum generator with all sorts of language links at the top.  (See screenshot.)  Here's my own punch line in honor of Robert Heinlein:

"I was surprised anybody had answered my rhetorical question."
—David Farris, Lie Still, 2004

 

Which is funnier: French toast or pancakes?

Clue:  This is according to someone dissatisfied with his job at a marketing company.

Answer:  French toast.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  John Kowalik, “Being John Kowalik,” JohnKowalik.com (April 25, 2007)

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

WAXING CRESCENT

The semicolon appears to be partly but less than one-half illuminated by the reading lamp. The fraction of the semicolon's dot that is illuminated is increasing like a snowball that grows as it rolls. This semicolon appears before the First Quarter Semicolon and after the New Semicolon. The crescent will grow larger and larger every day, until the semicolon looks like the First Quarter Semicolon.

 

Yes, you may . . . on one condition:

"that there are no pre-conditions." —Golda Meir, International Documents on Palestine, 1974

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

"Someone needs to write a book on what constitutes hatred toward others."
—Eric Penn, Children of Chaotics, 1995, p. 134.

What is funnier than unhappiness?

Clue:  This is according to playwright Samuel Beckett

Answer:  Nothing  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Simon Critchley, Very Little—Almost Nothing: Death, Philosophy, Literature (2004), p. 184.

From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:

Dr. Awkward writes:


I'll share my secrets.  When quotation marks and punctuation become awkward, the most elegant solution is to paraphrase and avoid directly quoting.  Contrariwise, quote generously enough to offset and thereby avoid quotation marks altogether.  For example:

Someone should write a book about the "little territorial struggles over semantics between retailer and consumer." —Jonathan Caws-Elwitt