"Do not wear a broom to breakfast."  From Expressways, Grade 3, Level 6, Handstands by Thorn & Irwin, 1977.

"I just know that nothing else must happen."  From Dark Shadows episode 392.

A collage of stills from Prof. Oddfellow's Penetralia, courtesy of Dare-g on Tumblr.

Parody analog horror meets 1970s tropes (like pet rocks, lava lamps, disco music, bell-bottom pants, mirror balls, and of course mood rings) in the web series Grave Mood Rings. It pokes fast fun at classic slow-moving Gothic soap operas like Dark Shadows and the Canadian series Strange Paradise. In addition to a vampiric Viscount, a castle is home to a groovy Doctor (a phlebotomist, naturally), a jolly housekeeper with her own laugh track, a werewolf Vicar, and an arch-nemesis riddler wearing a Sphinx mask. Corny wordplay, the occasional bizarre sing-a-long, and haunted doughnuts punctuate the proceedings, in the tradition of the sketch comedy of MadTV, Kids in the Hall, and SCTV.  This episode was written by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.

From The Sorcery Club by Elliott O'Donnell, 1912.

"Are you writing a story?"  From Improvement Era, 1941.

"Evil keeps no set business hours."  From Dark Shadows episode 358.

The spooky thing about tattoos, on Prof. Oddfellow's Penetralia.

A Grave Mood Rings homage to Dark Shadows.

Poultry progaganda calendars.  From the Bombay Sunday Chronicle, 1937.

"It's just another question mark about things."  From Dark Shadows episode 150.

From The Aberree, 1955.  

This could be us.  "I will be your ghost tonight.  I will be your ghost twice."  From Dark Shadows episode 1173.

"Now she laughs at pain!"  From The Australian Women's Weekly, 1935.

A collage of stills from Grave Mood Rings, courtesy of Dare-g on Tumblr.

"A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close to your eyes."  From Improvement Era, 1959.