CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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I Found a Penny Today, So Here’s a Thought

December 8, 2019 (permalink)

"We are going to have to deal with propositions which are simultaneously both true and false; my corollary is that mutually contrary propositions may be equally true."
—Philip K. Dick, Exegesis
#truth #philosophy #philip k. dick #contradiction
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December 6, 2019 (permalink)

"Major effort needed today" -- a headline from The McGill Daily, 1962.
#vintage headline #effort needed
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December 4, 2019 (permalink)

The best thing in the world is:

  • to get enough sleep.
  • to lie on a soft rug before a fire.
  • to laugh with a friend.
  • to be got from books. 
  • flying at full speed from pursuit.
  • to cultivate one's own garden.
  • to be who you are.
  • love.
  • to have the heart of a child.
  • individual freedom.
  • to watch the day being born.
  • work.
  • a pile of nuts as high as a hill.
  • to be self-forgetful.
  • to be useful.
  • laughter.
  • to play music.
  • to live; most people just exist.
  • to know somebody needs you.
  • in some cases, the very worst.
  • always in danger of extinction.

[snippets collected through our research]
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November 30, 2019 (permalink)

"The three learned professions surely need our sympathy, since they so many things that are not so."  From The Doctors, A Satire in Four Seizures by Elbert Hubbard, 1909.
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November 29, 2019 (permalink)

We tend to forget:

  • that even standing upright is a learned skill
  • how much we are connected
  • the middle items
  • the sublime
  • the liberating power of fantasies
  • even those hardwon lessons that could help us solve recurring problems
  • that a longheld assumption does not thereby become a fact
  • things that do not fit our own personal expectations
  • that the brain is not the mind
  • how big an order of magnitude really is
  • a great deal of what is said almost as soon as we hear it
  • disagreeable experiences
  • negative feedback about ourselvess
  • how real the imaginary is to children
  • about “us”
  • that dogs are not people
  • what we want to forget
  • ourselves, forget we are in a theatre
  • that the body understands the world in unique ways
  • that it hasn't always been like this
  • about those people that we do not know
  • many things we knew when we were in the spirit world
  • who we are
[snippets gathered through the course of our research]
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November 27, 2019 (permalink)

"Things done in violence have to be done over again."  From Little Journeys to Homes of Reformers: Bradlaugh by Elbert Hubbard, 1907.
#quotation #violence
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November 23, 2019 (permalink)

We can now confirm that this is, indeed, what a scarecrow thinks of the moon.  From General William Booth Enters Into Heaven, and Other Poems by Nicholas Vachel Lindsay, 1913.
#vintage illustration #scarecrow #moon #art #poetry
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November 17, 2019 (permalink)

How we dine out for free every single day and why it's a David Lynchian experience: all secrets are revealed in our new article over at Medium.
#restaurant #budget #dining
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November 16, 2019 (permalink)

This says that people who promptly answer correspondence are "stunted and queer."  We, too, strive to answer promptly and are unabashedly stunted and queer.  (Not proudly, mind you, for the opposite of "shame" is not "pride" but "shameless.")  From Mince Pie by Christopher Morley, 1919.
#vintage illustration #correspondence #queer
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November 15, 2019 (permalink)

"Let's all go crazy!"  From The Judge, 1921.
#weird headline #vintage headline #go crazy
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November 13, 2019 (permalink)

"The cat, 'I am.'"  To say this yourself in a truly confident tone, see the instant, non-surgical techniques in How to Be Your Own Cat.
From Supernatural Cats, edited by Claire Necker, 1972.
#cat #cat people #vintage headline
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November 12, 2019 (permalink)

From a typed message on the back of a 1908 postcard of Johnson Bible College.
#prayer #harvest
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November 10, 2019 (permalink)

Desperate times do not call for milquetoast measures.  Messrs. Meow and Miaow (no relation) enter an old wizard's manor to set up a strange ritual.  See also this unusual collection of Strange Prayers for Strange Times.
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November 8, 2019 (permalink)

We've been saying this for decades: "It takes the spittle of toad to live with electronic appliances."
From The Times News (Idaho), 1986.
#toad #vintage headline
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"Fighting with spaghetti."  From The Link, 1951.
#vintage headline #spaghetti
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November 7, 2019 (permalink)

“Possibly—just possibly—he might derive comfort from the liturgy, and even strength.  The gods whom he had worshiped might be unworthy of his worship, or of anyone’s; but the worship itself must have counted for something, weighed in some scales somewhere, surely.  It had to be, or else the Whorl was mad.” —Gene Wolfe, Caldé of the Long Sun (and though we’re Wolfe fans, this particular series of novels pales unforgivably next to the Book of the New Sun)
#religion #gene wolfe
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November 3, 2019 (permalink)

From New Outlook, 1957.  But before you can discover your real self, first you must learn How to Believe in Your Elf.
#self discovery #real self
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October 30, 2019 (permalink)

Finally, news we can believe in.  "Ghouls and ghosts ready for big night."  From Clarion Call newspaper, 1964.
#ghost #hallowe'en #vintage headline #ghoul
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"Have an antisocial Halloween."  From Bay Area Reporter, 1986.
#halloween #hallowe'en #weird headline #vintage headline #antisocial
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October 29, 2019 (permalink)

The saxophone is here called unnatural, abnormal, degenerate, discordant, nervous, and ugly, like America.  From the Muhlenberg Weekly, 1938.
#saxophone #vintage news
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Original Content Copyright © 2019 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.