CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.
Something, Defined

February 11, 2020 (permalink)

"Something happened, but it wasn't worth the wait."  From The Varsity, Oct. 31, 1975.
#vintage headline #anhedonia #not worth it
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September 20, 2019 (permalink)

Here's something translated from the original Italian.  The translation loses something, eh?  From Understanding (of Language) Are Not Enough by Volodymyr Bilyk.
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September 10, 2019 (permalink)

We're firm believers in the "Something Connection."  From 1984, via Mail Order Apocrypha.
#vintage ad #ufo #aliens
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July 18, 2017 (permalink)

"I wonder what the blonde's got up her sleeve."

"I'm glad somebody has something up something," Ellery said.

—Ellery Queen, The Last Woman in His Life (via Jonathan)

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April 3, 2017 (permalink)

From The Divine Sharpness In the Heart of God by Karin Spirn, 2014.
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March 24, 2017 (permalink)

From David Hallamshire's Yorkshire Fables.

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February 27, 2017 (permalink)

From That Fated Shore by Phil Farrand, 2009.
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November 18, 2016 (permalink)

Here's a line from a poem in Hannah Claire Miller's The Feeling of Closing Your Eyes.
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September 15, 2016 (permalink)

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August 28, 2016 (permalink)

"Everything was fitting together just right.  All of the Somethings were living things and were growing" (J.B. Symons, in something called The Turms [sic] of Peace).

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August 24, 2016 (permalink)

Here's what something something had to do with the moon landing, from Mark Kelly's Astrotwins: Project Blastoff.
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July 24, 2016 (permalink)

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June 10, 2016 (permalink)

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April 19, 2016 (permalink)

From Jenn LeBlanc's The Rake and The Recluse.
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March 21, 2016 (permalink)

From Stuart Archer Cohen's This Is How It Really Sounds: A Novel.
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February 15, 2016 (permalink)

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January 25, 2016 (permalink)

Here's what ASCAP really stands for, from Chuck Palahniuk's Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread.

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January 5, 2016 (permalink)

Elizabeth Bishop's poem about a sandpiper mentions a quest for "something, something, something."  Mark Sandy explains in The Persistence of Beauty: Victorians to Moderns:
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December 23, 2015 (permalink)

Here's a flashback to the very first entry in our "Something, Defined" category.
INSTRUCTIONS: Click on the puzzle image below to reveal the solution!

Something something something means lots and lots of ___ beans. Perhaps ___ itself? (from Barbara Pym, An Unsuitable Attachment, 1983)
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December 22, 2015 (permalink)

"Don't hold back.  Can't 'something something' on an empty stomach, y'know?"  From what's arguably the greatest television show ever fashioned (but unfairly obscure outside its native Japan), Kamen Rider OOO (2010-11).  Previously, we discovered eight surprising meanings of the all-vowel word OOO in this series' title.
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