CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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Simple Answers


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A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.

Simple Answers

July 26, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is it is too big to be ignored." —Cloud Data Centers and Cost Modeling

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July 11, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is that we cannot pay attention to everything at once." —Forensic Science: Fundamentals and Investigations
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June 29, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is that you'll continue to do pretty much the same thing you've been doing over the past 5 days."5 Pounds: The Breakthrough 5-Day Plan to Jump-Start Rapid Weight Loss
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May 16, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer relates to what I needed most: asylum, a safe place to be, a 'stone mother' to hold me for as long as I required it." —The Last Asylum: A Memoir of Madness in Our Times

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April 27, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is that you'll incorporate them into your life with a few easy changes. (The more profound answer is that being active is an essential part of your life, not an afterthought.)" —5 Pounds: The Breakthrough 5-Day Plan to Jump-Start Rapid Weight Loss

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April 18, 2017 (permalink)

"Well, the simple answer may sound like a bit of a cop out, but there is no best type of rear suspension design." —How to Make Your Muscle Car Handle

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March 29, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is, 'No, I cannot.'" —Managing Corporate Design
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March 21, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is we don't know for sure and may never know." —The HolyPhone Confessional Crisis

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February 25, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer: habits. It is all about habits." —Feel Good Every Day: Let Your Thoughts Change Your Life
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February 24, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is that we forecast because all decisions involve future expectations or predictions, whether they are implicit or made explicit." —Navigating Strategic Decisions
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February 9, 2017 (permalink)

"The simple answer is that the problems are, for the most part, independent of each other." —Mathematical Methods in Engineering and Physics

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January 12, 2017 (permalink)

Difficult Question? Here's a simple answer

"There is great risk in returning a simple answer to a profound inquiry, because when simplicity is not the last result of knowledge, it is mere imbecility.”

Joseph Exell, Biblical Illustrator, Vol. 1

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December 2, 2016 (permalink)

"If there were a single, simple answer, we probably would have had it long ago. So we need not only to look for an answer but also to understand why the question has persisted despite the efforts of many wise men and women to answer it." —Roy F. Baumeister, Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty
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November 14, 2016 (permalink)

"'A very blue, very cold lake,' is her simple answer." —Karina Halle, Where Sea Meets Sky
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October 11, 2016 (permalink)

"The simple answer is that there is no easy way, but that some ways are easier than others." —David Chappell, Construction Contracts
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September 16, 2016 (permalink)

"[A] really simple answer: 'Because you don't let me go deeper than that.'" —Hanna Brencher, If You Find This Letter
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August 14, 2013 (permalink)

Hilda: Dylan Thomas was right, you know.
Evadne: About what?
Hilda: Everything.
Dear Ladies
#british comedy #Dear Ladies #drag queen #Dylan Thomas
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April 15, 2013 (permalink)

Difficult Question? Here's a simple answer

"The answer is simple—learn to touch.”

Gary Chapman, Happily Ever After (2011)

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April 5, 2013 (permalink)

Difficult Question? Here's a simple answer

"The answer is simple: because we are inherently social creatures.”

Miklos Sarvary, Gurus and Oracles (2011)

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March 31, 2013 (permalink)

Difficult Question? Here's a simple answer

"The answer is simple: people like other people who evoke a pleasant emotional response in them; they like to be around people who make them feel good, safe and comfortable.”

Elize Hattin, The Naked Truth About You (2011)

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