CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
Featured Book
The Young Wizard's Hexopedia
Search Site

Breathing Circle
Music Box Moment
Cautious or Optimistic
King of Hearts of War and Peace
As I Was, As I Am
Perdition Slip
Loves Me? Loves Me Not?
Wacky Birthday Form
Test Your ESP
Chess-Calvino Dictionary
Is Today the Day?
100 Ways I Failed to Boil Water
"Follow Your Bliss" Compass
"Fortune's Navigator" Compass
Inkblot Oracle
Luck Transfer Certificate
Eternal Life Coupon
Honorary Italian Grandmother E-card
Simple Answers


A Fine Line Between...
A Rose is a ...
Always Remember
Annotated Ellipses
Apropos of Nothing
Book of Whispers
Call it a Hunch
Colorful Allusions
Did You Hear the One I Just Made Up?
Disguised as a Christmas Tree
Don't Take This the Wrong Way
Everybody's Doing This Now
Forgotten Wisdom
Glued Snippets
Go Out in a Blaze of Glory
Hindpsych: Erstwhile Conjectures by the Sometime Augur of Yore
How to Believe in Your Elf
How to Write a Blank Book
I Found a Penny Today, So Here's a Thought
Images Moving Through Time
Indubitably (?)
Inflationary Lyrics
It Bears Repeating
It's Really Happening
Last Dustbunny in the Netherlands
Miscellanies of Mr. Jonathan
Neither Saint- Nor Sophist-Led
No News Is Good News
Non-Circulating Books
Nonsense Dept.
Not Rocket Science
Oldest Tricks in the Book
On One Condition
One Mitten Manager
Only Funny If ...
P I n K S L i P
Peace Symbols to Color
Postcard Transformations
Presumptive Conundrums
Puzzles and Games
Letter Grids
Tic Tac Toe Story Generator
Which is Funnier
Restoring the Lost Sense
Rhetorical Answers, Questioned
Rhetorical Questions, Answered!
Semicolon Moons
Semicolon's Dream Journal
Separated at Birth?
Simple Answers
Someone Should Write a Book on ...
Something, Defined
Staring at the Sun
Staring Into the Depths
Strange Dreams
Strange Prayers for Strange Times
Suddenly, A Shot Rang Out
Telescopic Em Dashes
Temporal Anomalies
The 40 Most Meaningful Things
The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine
The Only Certainty
The Right Word
This May Surprise You
This Terrible Problem That Is the Sea
Two Sides / Same Coin
Uncharted Territories
We Are All Snowflakes
What I Now Know
What's In a Name
Yearbook Weirdness
Yesterday's Weather
Your Ship Will Come In


July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006


Magic Words
Jonathan Caws-Elwitt
Martha Brockenbrough
Gordon Meyer
Dr. Boli
Serif of Nottingblog
Joe Brainard's Pyjamas
Ironic Sans
Brian Sibley's Blog
Abecedarian personal effects of 'a mad genius'
A Turkish Delight of musings on languages, deflations of metaphysics, vauntings of arcana, and great visual humor.
Someone Should Write a Book on ...

June 25, 2020 (permalink)

It's been said that the only book to have is Every Thing About Every Thing by Every Body.  We've read it, and while the beginning was quite compelling, about midway through we lost our bookmark and decided not to try to find our place again. From The Martlet, 1977.
#vintage illustration #book #hammock #everything
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 2, 2020 (permalink)

Lots of great books here that should exist outside the illustration:
One Million Candy Recipes
Waffles and Their Ways
Ice Cream: Hot or Cold
How to Know Beans
Dates and How to Keep Them
From Homespun Stories by Clara Denton, 1924.
#vintage illustration #books
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

April 13, 2020 (permalink)

Someone should write a self-help book entitled Finding Your Inner Ampersand.  (Thanks, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt!)  Speaking of ampersands, this is very unusual: the little-known, incredibly unlikely, yet fully documented history of the Ampersand.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

March 8, 2020 (permalink)

We initially mistook this headline to mean that the couple were seaching the lyrics of Blues songs for appearances of Bigfoot.  Cue Harry James' "Feet Draggin' Blues," but not Blind Lemon Jefferson's "Stocking Feet Blues" (because Bigfoot goes barefoot).  Bob Marley sang, "Your feet is just too big for your shoes."  The old folk song "Ol' Virginny Never Tire" mentions how "the hollow of her foot makes a hole in the groun'."  There's an old folk rhyme about "Johnny Bigfoot" who would have to kick two cows out of their skins to have shoes that fit.  The Ink Spots sang how "there were four of us: me, your big feet, and you."  Then there's the Moody Blues, who sing of how "the earth shook under my feet."  Johnny Cash's "Big Foot" is about a different Bigfoot—the Miniconjou chief.  We're little acquainted with the Blues genre, so no dount many more Sasquatches are lurking in those sonic realms.  Someone should write a book about how Bigfoot hides in music.
(Headline from UFO Newsclipping Service, 1983.)
#bigfoot #blues music
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

November 21, 2019 (permalink)

Someone should write a book on Boundary Setting for Open Secrets.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 13, 2019 (permalink)

Given that there's the classic Flatland and the follow-up Flatterland, someone should write a book called Even Flatterland or Superflatland, or Flattestland.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

April 29, 2019 (permalink)

Someone should craft a book on finding humor in seances via spirit slates: Jokes that Write Themselves.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

December 27, 2018 (permalink)

Dr. Clifford Pickover suggests that someone should write a book about this image: "Imagine the potential joy of writing a novel that focuses on this artwork."  Fighting Knight-Puppets, from Hortus Deliciarum, Herrad of Landsberg, Hohenburg Abbey, France, c.1167 - c.1185.
#vintage illustration #knight #puppet
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

November 12, 2018 (permalink)

Hilarious even when unconscious, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt suggests that someone ought to write a book called:

From Scare Quotes to Air Quotes: Framing and Shaming Dubious Micro-Texts

Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

October 28, 2018 (permalink)

"Why doesn't an airline pilot write a novel about flying?"  From Daily Tar Heel, 1939.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

August 1, 2018 (permalink)

Here's an idea that, if pursued, promises to automatically be referenced in another book:

Someone should write Evel Knievel and Other Not Evil Things (a book that doesn't currently exist but yet is already referenced on page 127 of Post-Rapture Radio: Lost Writings from the Failed Revolution at the End of the Last Century by Russell Rathbun, 2008).

Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

June 23, 2018 (permalink)

Someone should write Guile, Stealth, Patience—and a Small Amount of Cheating.  (The phrase is from Lost in a Good Book by Jasper Fforde.)
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

May 24, 2018 (permalink)

Someone should write A Slim Volume of Poetry for Vanquishing Locust Demons.  (Inspired by Retro-Devil.)
From The Devil's Bride by Milton H. Stine, 1910.
#vintage illustration #demon #biblical #locust
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

February 23, 2018 (permalink)

Walter Prichard Eaton suggestions that someone should write a book called How to Tell the Sermon from the Jazz.  He also suggests the title How to Project Your Personality Through the Empyrean.  From The Judge, 1922.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

January 24, 2018 (permalink)

Someone should write a cynic's birthday book with wicked epigrams and otherwise cynical sentiments for every day of the year.  From The Idler, 1894.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

January 16, 2018 (permalink)

From an ad for a lecture by Abbe Dimnet, 1921.
#france #thinking #french #subjects
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

December 6, 2017 (permalink)

"My unwritten book, Humility and How I Achieved It." —David L. McKenna, The Succession Principle
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

November 7, 2017 (permalink)

Someone should write another book called The City of Living Soul, Discovered in a Dream.  It's been since 1887 that James E. Ellison wrote his.
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

September 13, 2017 (permalink)

"One day someone should write a follow-up of Joan Didion's Californian memoir Where I Was From." —Mireille Hildebrandt, Smart Technologies and the End(s) of Law
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

August 30, 2017 (permalink)

"Someone should write an etiquette book on it—Avoiding Awkward Innkeeper Interactions." —Mae Fox and Amy Lillard, Pattern of Betrayal
Tumblr Twitter Facebook Pinterest

Page 1 of 10

> Older Entries...

Original Content Copyright © 2020 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.