"The best years of your life were 2000 years ago."  From I Dream of Jeannie, season 4, episode 17.

"Peter Puck wants to know if musicians carry their drums in their ears."  From The Children's Newspaper, 1928.

Mixing vampire humor and 1970s tropes (like pet rocks, lava lamps, disco music, bell-bottom pants, mirror balls, and of course mood rings), the web series Grave Mood Rings pokes fast fun at classic slow-moving Gothic soap operas like Dark Shadows and the Canadian series Strange Paradise. In addition to a vampiric Viscount, a castle is home to a groovy Doctor (a phlebotomist, naturally), a jolly housekeeper with her own laugh track, a werewolf Vicar, and an arch-nemesis riddler wearing a Sphinx mask. Corny wordplay, the occasional bizarre sing-a-long, and haunted doughnuts punctuate the proceedings, in the tradition of the sketch comedy of MadTV, Kids in the Hall, and SCTV.

In this episode, the Viscount fears an uprising of the Village People.

Uncle Sam's profile is the United States turned on its side.  From St. Nicholas, 1893.

"I don't know if anything is all right anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know exactly."

From Dark Shadows episode 637.

A surrealist, dadaistic, even post-contemplationist spoof of slow-moving Gothic soap operas of the 1970s, from the minds of Jonathan Caws-Elwitt and Prof. Oddfellow: it's Grave Mood Rings, a weird intersection in the universe of Penetralia.

"Peter Puck wants to know if flying men move in high circles."  From The Children's Newspaper, 1928.

From The Aberree, 1955.  

From The Improvement Era, 1968.

"A strangeness that seems to reach out and touch everyone."  From Dark Shadows episode 9.

From The Improvement Era, 1968.

"Something old, nothing new— much that's borrowed, naught that's true!"  From Motion Picture Classic, 1924.

The mystic virtues of the sapphire, from the eleventh century poem "The Lapidarium" by Marbodus, in Colored Gems by W. S. Ward, 1872

Hailed as "the best series running at this time" (thanks, Billy Brujo Show!), it's Grave Mood Rings.

Mixing vampire humor and 1970s tropes (like pet rocks, lava lamps, disco music, bell-bottom pants, mirror balls, and of course mood rings), the web series Grave Mood Rings pokes fast fun at classic slow-moving Gothic soap operas like Dark Shadows and the Canadian series Strange Paradise. In addition to a vampiric Viscount, a castle is home to a groovy Doctor (a phlebotomist, naturally), a jolly housekeeper with her own laugh track, a werewolf Vicar, and an arch-nemesis riddler wearing a Sphinx mask. Corny wordplay, the occasional bizarre sing-a-long, and haunted doughnuts punctuate the proceedings, in the tradition of the sketch comedy of MadTV, Kids in the Hall, and SCTV.  This episode was penned by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.

From This Is Magic: Secrets of the Conjurer's Craft by Will Dexter, 1958.

From Epigrams of Eve by Sophie Irene Loeb and illustrated by Ruby Lind, 1913.

"I'm married ... but I still need love."  From Screenland Plus TV-Land, 1953.  See The Collected Lost Meanings of Wedlock.

"Demonize, if you must": from "Undertaking Darkness," a twist on vampire lore in Grave Mood Rings.