A hint of actor fatigue in the long-running Dark Shadows: "Just let me get a sandwich, and I'll be right back" (episode 50).

Reblog to close your eyes to something that you neither understand nor like.  From Dark Shadows episode 31.

In parts one and two, we saw how Dark Shadows beat Seinfeld to be the first show about nothing.  Not only was nobody in the spooky tower ...

From Ptomaine Street, by Carolyn Wells

This ad is actually saying that making a long distance call is the same as straining your eyes to read in an overly dark room back home.  From Together magazine, 1968.

"We need to face facts."  A torn, stained, check-marked page from A Dream To Share by Deborah Joyce.

From Dark Shadows episode 15.

No cranks invited to the UFO club?  Imagine how stultifying those meetings must have been!  (Cue the Fawlty Towers episode in which Basil hosts a “Gourmet Night” but ends the newspaper ad with, “No riffraff,” and almost nobody shows up.)  But really, it did hit me like a sack of bricks — any sort of club desiring only serious-minded people?  And they charge dues for the privilege of exclusive earnestness?  Horrors!  Via UFO Newsclipping Service, 1995.  

Small world -- my property valuation administrator is an alien impersonator, too ... er, at least I assume he's merely an impersonator.  Via UFO Newsclipping Service, 2005.

"Where do great ideas come from?"  We'd love to know!  From Together, 1957.

"And you smoke dope, I can tell by your eyes."  From Animal Spirits by David McFadden and illustrated by Greg Curnoe.

From The Cynic's Rules of Conduct by Chester Field, 1905.

A parrot who could ask in Javanese, "Can you direct me to a good second hand book store?"  From the Chicago Tribune, 1926.  (Hat tip: Jonathan.)

It might be the ghost of a room, if only rooms had ghosts.  From Dark Shadows episode 1976.

From Secrets of the Supernatural by Herbert Molloy Mason.

From Personally, I Blame My Fairy Godmother by Claudia Carroll.