Here's a photographer from an ad in Dansk Ornithologisk Forenings Tidsskrift, 1907.

"Begin with the blood."  From an ad in Pick Me Up, 1892.

The phrase "what clowns drink" is a Googlewhack, but here's your answer.  And this is what it looks like to be "off the [circus] wagon."  From a 1908 ad in Jugend.

"Fountain of Youth" Florida Water, from c. 1890.

Remember that famous ad featuring polar bears drinking cola?  Turns out that was a mixer, as we learn in these earlier ads from Jugend, 1910.

"Character as indicated by the hand," from 1893.

This can actually happen.  When Hurricane Matthew destoyed my home last October, a case of alcohol washed into my yard.  The garbage man asked if he could have it, so I gave it to him.  From an ad in Jugend, 1910.

A non-slip cat's paw (a detail from an advertisement, date uncertain).

From an ad for Buckingham's Dye for the Whiskers, c. 1890.

The better champagnes hatch from eggs, as we learn in Jugend, 1907.

"New secret in Jujitsu makes you master of men."  From Popular Mechanics, 1920.

The ancient boot deities.  From Jugend, 1898.

"It brings the Panther Woman to the screen!"

Here is revealed how we navigate England when the GPS device is on the blink.  The text reads, "The way about England.  Take your directions from Father Avon."  From an ad in The Sketch, 1911.

Here's a dollar bill that fell asleep for five years and grew a long beard.  The artist was worried that "$1" wasn't enough to identify the bill, so he added a "Dollar Bill" banner.  From The Saturday Evening Post, 1920.

You've heard that we're all made of stardust, but so are bicycles, sewing machines, and typewriters.  Or ... smoke coalesces into the Platonic ideals of bicycles, typewriters, and sewing machines, and the cosmos celebrates.  From Jugend, 1906.

Here's a cherub's silkworm chariot pulled by bees, from c. 1890.

Here's some dizziness from the Saturday Evening Post, 1918.  And from The Saturday Evening Post, 1917.

"When nature won't — Pluto will."