May this headline bring you some luck.  From the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals' Our Dumb Animals magazine, 1955.

"Don't let your wife wear the badge of a drudge!"  From Improvement Era, 1952.

"Queer creatures from the depths."  From The Children's Newspaper, 1952.

"Bears like city haunts."  From The Duluth Herald, 1915.

"When it comes to social manners, it's smart to be old fashioned."  From Improvement Era, 1966.

"The dead are alive and organized!"  From The New Liberator Weekly, 1931.

"Desire under the armpits."  From Wabash College's 1926 yearbook.

"Tomorrow's yesterday."  From The Improvement Era, 1948.

"High Park ghost rides white nag.  It rises from Grenadier Pond in the form of a huge widow's veil."  From the Toronto Star, 1992.

"Admission fee—one tin of worms!"  From The Children's Newspaper, 1949.

There's hope for "bitter Betties": "'Dismal damsels' beat the blues."  From The Australian Women's Weekly, 1964.

"How to have fun and stay out of trouble without really trying."  From Improvement Era, 1962.

"Look out for the Christmas wasp."  From The Wasp, 1902.

"Finish in time limit not thought probable."  From the Duluth Herald, 1920.

"The blessing of silence.  City noises that damage our nerves."  From The Children's Newspaper, 1922.

"And God said, 'let us boogie down.'"  From The Omen, 1997.

"Some one, somewhere."  From the Duluth Herald, 1911.

From The Map of Chaos by Felix J. Palma.  For a weird collection of unmappable places, see The Carte Blanche Atlas.

"Danger lurks in our daily bread."  From the Bombay Sunday Chronicle, 1941.

"A necropolis for neuortic neologists.  Isibdtas, pequibles, and whooshes."  From The Aberree, 1956.