CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
"I dreamt I was in a trance, my folks thought me dead. They put me in a coffin; they cried and said nice things about me. All night long the old cat, whose kittens I had drowned that morning, sat on my coffin and gloated over my sufferings; she knew I was alive. I was placed in a hearse and in due time arrived at the grave yard. I could hear the mud hit the lid of the coffin and began to choke when I woke up." From 1910.
Before bad Photoshopping, folks pasted in crying babies whose heads are impossibly smaller than kittens'. But as a general rule, a basket of kittens does go with just about any photo, in the proper proportion, of course. From Die Bühne, 1926.
The secrets of How to Be Your Own Cat go back to the Meiji period of Japan, when cat people wrote books in between naps. For example, the author of the Japanese classic I Am a Cat was himself a feline: "Choosing a kitten for the main character has a two-fold meaning as Sōseki was, in fact, himself a stray kitten" (Aiko Ito & Graeme Wilson's introduction to Sōseki Natsume's I Am a Cat). Our illustration from a 1906 edition of the book.