"If only we knew what was supposed to happen, we could at least try to prevent it."  From Dark Shadows episode 1075.

"'There's no telling what's going to happen, is there?'  'No, not even the computers can fugure that out yet.'"  From Dark Shadows episode 1073.

Just another sleepless, seemingly eternal night from Dark Shadows, episode 289.  The captions read, "[Vicki:] Like going to sleep and waking up in the morning to see the sunshine.  [Carolyn:] What a wonderful idea.  Let me know if it works."

This moment from Dark Shadows episode 719 has nothing to do with the mark of the bunny from Atlantic Christian's 1988 yearbook.  But when you've seen enough episodes of Dark Shadows, everything seems to relate.

"Sometimes from the purest motives one is forced to follow the most devious routes."  From Dark Shadows episode 800. 

Inexplicably, in the first 800 episodes of Dark Shadows, Beelzebub is invoked only once.  From Dark Shadows episode 397.

Reblog if you, too, are still resisting abstractionism.  From Dark Shadows episode 133.

Oddly, there's but a single "whatchamacallit" in the first 800 episodes of Dark Shadows.

"The only trip we are ever going to take is to hell."  From Dark Shadows episode 797.

It's simple, timeless advice -- get a better hobby.  From Dark Shadows episode 798.

Here's a good exit line, from Dark Shadows episode 801.  "Perhaps I'll be back in a little while; then I'll undo some of the mischief I shall be blamed for."

"Our lives are one long continuous crisis."  From Dark Shadows episode 789.

“Leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. That’s where the most important things come from, where you yourself came from, and where you will go.” —Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide To Getting Lost

Our illustration is from Dark Shadows episode 857.  "Anything is possible beyond the I-Ching door."

How true those words are, even today: "It stopped.  But it’ll start again.  It’s all part of everything else."  From Dark Shadows episode 858

The rarely mentioned "underside of time" is mentioned in Dark Shadows episode 789.

A gypsy has had enough in Dark Shadows episode 789: "For the first time, I ain't got no interest in what's going to happen, now, tomorrow, ever."

Dark Shadows makes no mention of unicorns between episodes 1 and 798.

Same.  From Dark Shadows, episode 342.

They don't write TV shows this way anymore.  Spoken to a severed hand that was stolen from the king of the gypsies: "Released by the guardians of the chains and blessed by the custodians of the twelve days."  The twelve days of Christmas?

"Terrible pamphlets" don't arise in Dark Shadows until episode 725.