CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
You've heard about avian migratory flight patterns, but apparently it was all a big misunderstanding, perhaps because some bird calls sound like "Mi-am-i." From The Gateway, 1979.
You might have assumed the 1980s breezed in like a neon-lit flock of seagulls on a koosh ball with shoulder pads and parachute pants, but it wasn't as smooth as all that. No, not at all. "Crunch, clank, clank — here comes the eighties!" From The Gateway, 1977.
Well, in all fairness, somebody probably ought to pay, and it turns out it's those pesky meditators, always with their eyes either closed or open. From The Martlet, 1976.
You noticed that words don't seem to mean anything anymore, and you've wondered whether some things might be better in Canada ... but these headlines from 1970s Canada offer no comfort: shooters use blades, the moon's a balloon, purse-snatchers want wallets, and funkly fiddlers are jazzy. We give up.