CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
Here's a great test of your asterisk identification ability. What are these asterisks? Yes, they're footlights below the stage's curtain. From Humorous Skits For Young People by Robert Louis Fontaine.
Long-term ex-readers of ours will recall that we love interpreting rows of section-break dots and asterisks as illustrations for the text above or below them. (In fact, we published an entire book of such interpretations, Annotated Ellipses: Revealing A Hidden Dot-To-Dot Game Within A Novelist's Eccentric Punctuation). But here's an example of the very opposite. The narrator experiences a roadside accident and sees fifty million stars, then notes that the row of asterisks does not represent said stars but rather a period of unconsicousness. From Pearson's, 1904.
We're often asked, "what were you on?" when we decoded the secret meanings to the profuse ellipses in an obscure novel from the 1920s. (We compiled our surprising findings into Annotated Ellipses: Revealing A Hidden Dot-To-Dot Game Within A Novelist's Eccentric Punctuation.) Well, the answer isn't so much what we took in but rather what we put on: special eyewear from the year 1623, as described in Uso de los Antoios para Todo Genero de Vistas. Here's an illustration from the book, showing how the glasses focus upon rows of dots. Here also is another illustration from the book, rather accurately showing the wearer's view of the world.