Professor Oddfellow's Forgotten Wisdom
Printed collections of Forgotten Wisdom diagrams are available: Volume I from Mindful Greetings and Volumes II, III and IV from Amazon. Selected posters are also available via Zazzle. |
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We were tickled by this mention of a Ouija board lying at an impish angle on a table (from Ouija: A Farce Comedy in One Act by Morris McNeil Musselman, 1920). That inspired our own diagram about how to determine impish angles. [For Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.]
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Can one hear the ocean in a seashell? Yes! The tides are at play in the inner sanctum of the shell, pulled by the gravity of the full moon. Waves of sound rush from the spiral of the shell into the cochlear spiral of the inner ear. Inexplicably, seagulls are often heard as well. Skeptics may claim that the sound one hears is the rushing of one’s blood. Yet "it has long been established that the makeup of human blood bears a haunting resemblance to that of sea water” (Larry Gedney, Alaska Science Forum). (Previously, we found vintage proof that the ocean one hears in a seashell is the shore at Atlantic City.)
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The text reads, "Everything found on land is found in the sea." —Ithell Colquhoun, Goose of Hermogenes
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
"A rainbow spans the horizon for as long as your heart needs to reconcile itself to life." —Michel Tournier (as quoted in A Thousand Plateaus by Deleuze & Guattari).
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You've heard that "a horse is a horse, of course, of course." But here's our explanation of why a racehorse is less like a workhorse than a workhorse is like an ox (as per Deleuze & Guattari's A Thousand Plateaus). The science of ethology doesn't define a body by species or genus but rather counts affects. Hence, workhorses and oxen are similar in that they both pull heavy burdens, are dirty, are tethered, move slowly, work long days, and are crucial to farm production. A racehorse is none of those things: it is unburdened, clean, untethered, can gallop, works short days on the track and not the field, is well-groomed, and wins trophies. How does all this relate to being one's own cat? A cat-person is more like a Persian cat than an indoor cat is like an alley cat. For further explanation, easy tips, and immediate results, see How To Be Your Own Cat. (And yes, we really did go to all this trouble to justify a tie-in to our book. That's how important it all is.)
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The text reads, "The sea's voice ... is heard as in the ear of a shell." —Ithell Colquhoun, Goose of Hermogenes
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The text reads, "Be warned and understand truly, that two fishes are swimming in our sea." —Ithell Colquhoun, Goose of Hermogenes
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"The unrecorded past is none other than our old friend, the tree in the primeval forest which fell without being heard." —Barbara Tuchman
And here we had thought that the fallen tree nobody heard was an old chestnut.
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Celebrated novelist and grammarian Martha Brockenbrough asks, "Is Tinker Bell a particle or a wave?" Tinker Bell is a wave, except when she lights.
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From Prof. Oddfellow's sketchbook:
Q: How do comic hats float?
A: To create levity, we must make light.
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Original Content Copyright © 2025 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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