Rhetorical Questions, Answered!
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"Every now and then some people in your audience will try to answer your rhetorical question. If someone offers you an answer, you need to be able to handle the response." — R. Mark Giuliano, Speak Easy (2005) |
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Q: Where do I begin? A: The answer is right there in your kitchen. (Kelly Hancock, Saving Savvy, 2011) |
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From our former outpost at Twitter:
Why do we praise people for making a "difference" when they're actually making a "sum"?
I think it's a product of the times.
June adds:
It just doesn't add up.
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In the British comedy series " Absolutely Fabulous," a life coach gives this ridiculous "daily aim": "Have a great idea and write a pop song." We couldn't help but think back on that line when we saw this advice:
This frame is from the hilarious and endearing Mapp & Lucia series, based on E. F. Benson's novels. We agree with Nigel Hawthorne here — well-chosen words don't write themselves!
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Q: Why do I have to ask the questions? A: Do you think that is the question to ask? — Geof Huth, personal correspondence |
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Jeff asks today's question: Q: What is it about rhetorical questions? A: Yeah, I know, right?
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Q: "What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?" —Bertolt Brecht
A: The hole hovers in Swedenborgian space.
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J adds:
Having originated, of course, in Switzerlandborgian space.
Pitchinwoot writes:
The mice collect them for their Mouse Holes.
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A still from Vertigo (a film irreparably marred by Kim Novak's clownishly painted on eyebrows). --- June writes: That's what Laura Palmer's mother said when SHE saw the white horse!
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Carly Simon's song "You're So Vain" doesn't identify its subject, yet actor Warren Beatty has asserted that it's about him. Beatty's assertion begs a question: if anyone takes "You're So Vain" personally, is he or she technically correct? The answer is Yes! According to Hugh Everett's " many worlds" interpretation of quantum mechanics, every possible quantum vanity is realized. In the many-branched tree of parallel universes, each and every vain human being is the true subject of Carly Simon's song.
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J quips:
This is very comforting! Imagine being vain enough to think YSV was about you, but finding out it wasn't. The very world might cease to revolve around one.
Technical question: Does Everett's theory still hold for values of "a" (a = age of vain individual) that are < Y (Y = years elapsed since song was written)? In other words, was Simon farsighted enough to build infinite references to unborn vain people into her song?
Similarly, I note the problematics around individuals who were alive when the song was written but not yet vain, their vanity only to develop later on. In their case, I hypothesize a "critical vanity threshold," or CVT--the discrete moment at which someone's vanity has matured to the point where Simon's song begins to refer to him or her.
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Q: " Everything can't be Kafkaesque, can it? I ask myself this over and over, even though I know it's a rhetorical question." — William KecklerA: Yes, everything is indeed Kafkaesque, except at the antipodes, where everything is reversed. |
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Original Content Copyright © 2026 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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