CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.
I dreamed my journal was exceprt'd [sic] in a book by Jennifer DeVere Brody: Punctuation: Art, Politics, and Play, 2008. It was really a dream within a dream, as my journal was on a screen within a printed page. And two typos mysteriously appeared in my text (a misspelled word, a missing comma), making it all feel so uncanny.
You've heard of the pot calling the kettle black, but here's the port calling the ethyl bladdered. The caption reads, "He is drunk—and so am I." From A Frenchman in America by Max O'Rell and illustrated by E. W. Kemble, 1891.
"I blow because it is so cold. / I blow because it is so hot." From The Fables of Æsop by Joseph Jacobs, 1894. Speaking of which, what exactly are a snowball's chances in hell? See A Snowball's Chance in Hell.
This one hits close to home: "You're out of date. You should have lived in ancient history's pages." From Love Lyrics and Valentine Verses by E. M. Davies, 1875.
"Blue Monday," the so-called most depressing day of the year, dates back to 2005, if we are to believe Wikipedia. But we can do a century better, with this Blue Monday from St. Nicholas magazine, 1904.