"How to stay in front of the 8-ball!"  From The Film Daily, 1940.

May you always croak at the right moment.  And yes, keep your hat on.  The text reads, "Never make love with a frog under your hat.  It croaks at the wrong moment."  From The Film Daily, 1938.

This ad gets funnier as it goes.  From The Campus Enquirer (University of Alberta), 1982.

We've hit new highs, too.  Please, someone, find a crowbar to pry us off the ceiling so we can get on with our day.  From The Film Daily, 1938.

It's an awful thing to have your LP collection stolen by a vindictive ex.  As And One sings in the final line of "Tonight," "Please bring back my CD-collection of Depeche Mode."  From The Film Daily, 1946.

We, too, often find theatrical seating to be uncomfortable.  From The Film Daily, 1934.

"Yeah ... but how about the other guy?"  From The Film Daily, 1936.

"Cold snap!"  From The Film Daily, 1934.

An angelic cowboy makes a killing at the box office.  From The Film Daily, 1947.

Bad news -- "You can't get away with it!"  From The Film Daily, 1936.

Fourteen years before Marilyn Monroe's famous "flying skirt" photo.  From The Film Daily, 1941.

"They're having Night and Day at the same time in 250 cities!"  From The Film Daily, 1946.

"Who is 'your best friend.'"  From The Film Daily, 1922.

Blonds didn't have more fun a century ago.  From Hearst's, 1921.

"Who's behind that eight ball?  You'll never know!"  From The Film Daily, 1936.

"Too bad 2 people can't occupy 1 seat at the same time — something should be done about it!"  From The Film Daily, 1926.

"I wonder if he's going to be ill."  From Hearst's, 1921.

We checked, and it's true that everybody's waiting for Thursday.  That's a major plot point in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, as Mary's love interest Dennis keeps setting up momentous rendezvous on Thursdays.  From The Film Daily, 1937.

From The Film Daily, 1926.

"White magic of your own mind."  From Weird Tales, 1932.