It's not "coffin coffee" unless it's brewed until the aroma could wake the dead.  From Entire Dilemma by Michael Burkard, 1998.

You've heard that dabbling in the occult is dangerous because it's not a game, but it turns out that it actualy is a game.  "The Game of Bewitchments," from Fairy Prince by Eleanor Abbott, 1922.

That's how my folks were as I was growing up -- if I indicated that I had something important to say, they encouraged me to put it on a record.  Alas, my vast record collection was destroyed by Hurrican Matthew, and now I hardly know what I think.  From Time and Tigers by D. R. Amato. 

This sort of science is rarely taught anymore ... and look at the state of the world.  "Why the butterfly is not a flower," from The Bluebird's Garden by Patten Beard, 1915.

Good news -- it won't and actually cannot ever happen again.  From It Never Can Happen Again by William de Morgan, 1909.

We double-checked this Charles Kingsley quotation, and it is untrue.  (Yesterdays sneers and frowns certainly can come again!)  But we snagged it for the hand lettering.  From Mary Washington's 1916 yearbook.

"I still live, but like 666, by the aid of drugs.  Pain, pain, pain!  But, before I die, I must tell all.  I mustn't wander - must conserve all my energies to tell all."  From Secrets of the Kaula Circle by Elizabeth Sharpe, 1936.

"To save the world just vote for Joe the space bee, present leader of the Inter Galactic Bumblebees."  From The Gateway, 1974.

If Wordsworth had said this to me, I'd have invited him to absent himself from my presence (using only words from The Dictionary of Ugly Words) so that my reading could continue undisturbed and my growth continue to double.  From Mary Washington's 1916 yearbook.

"The only trip we are ever going to take is to hell."  From Dark Shadows episode 797.

Let no one say our posts don't offer clarity.  From Clarity by John Ramsey, 1985.

As you see, one of these books is from the mirror world.  There's an easy way to determine which world you are in: look at the cover of the book you're reading; in the mirror world, the author's name is less important than the title.

From The Gateway, 1971.

"How to starve within your means."  From The Purple Parrot, May 1937.

From Mothers News, 2013.

Not very good news: though infinite, God only thinks 101 amazing things about you.  In the context of boundlessness, your worthiness of being thought about doesn't chart.  From 101 Amazing Things God Thinks About You.

It's simple, timeless advice -- get a better hobby.  From Dark Shadows episode 798.

A fascinating description of a peculiar snack food flavor, from a great Top Ten list with only eight items, in Monsters News, 2012.

"Pickles always make me feel better."  From As Fun As You Feel, 1992.

How true those words are, even today -- "Noxious fumes disturb holiday weekend."  From Antioch News, Sept. 1996.