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Here's a strange dream:
I dreamed I was among a group of people being tortured very
viciously. Our assailants were cutting off hands and feet, using
sharp metal rods for impaling, and so on. I noticed that one of
my fellow victims, a woman, had a tiny round bandage on her
forehead. I recognized this as evidence that she had been impaled
through the head, and I deeply dreaded such a fate for myself.
(In retrospect, I associate this small circle with the Hindu "bindi"
representing the Third Eye, but in the dream this didn't occur to
me.) At some point during my torture, I gained
enlightenment. I felt the music of the universe enter my body
through my root chakra, and I felt myself "puffing up" like a balloon
being filled, especially in my belly. I floated in bliss for a
while. When my awareness focused back on the physical plane, I
saw two Hindus holding up their hands in prayer and bowing to me
reverently, acknowledging my holiness. I returned the
honor. One of them opened a book to show me which deity was my
overseer or lord in the greater hierarchy of things. I don't
remember the god's name, but I remember reading these words: "This god
is associated with endings and beginnings." I scoffed slightly,
thinking that the description was too generic. "That's what
they're ALL associated with," I thought to myself. (In
retrospect, I realize that my overseer is Agni, the Hindu two-headed
god of fire who rules over the digestive fires in the belly.) I
only vaguely recall subsequent scenes of my dream in which I was
operating as an enlightened being and interacting with my
followers. I certainly felt happy bestowing benevolence.
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I was in the most dangerous part of town you could imagine. It reminded me of the most hellish neighborhood in the Australian Outback. A large woman with a dark complexion came out of a building (which I associated with a prison) and asked me to do her a favor. She said she needed help pushing a tissue through a slot across the street. The tissue was draped over the end of a tool, presumably a screwdriver. The task sounded simple enough, and she was pushy enough that I obliged. She walked behind me, thrusting me forward rather gruffly, and I told myself not to take her behavior the wrong way. I imagined that she had many children and was experienced in having to shove them around to keep them in line. Up ahead I saw our destination, and it filled me with fear. It was like a solitary phone booth, but it was a cage with prison bars, and it was virtually bursting with menace. I suspected that someone criminally insane was inside that cell. "What's going to happen?" I asked my companion. "I don't know" was all she said, though we were both thinking that those bars could give way any moment. When we got up to the cage, I saw that it was swarming with many people inside, all either criminally insane or hopelessly deformed monstrosities. I couldn't help but wonder whether or not there were better ways to deal with these people than this outdoor cage -- weren't there advances in plastic surgery that could help? Or were their grotesque deformities evidence of a twisted energy present at the time of reincarnation? And should we be suspicious of dwarves? The woman ushered me toward the bars, and I cautiously inched the screwdriver toward the bars until the tissue fell off and was grabbed by one of the crouching inmates. Then the woman and I fled as fast as we could, lest the little prison cell break loose like a Pandora's Box and subject us to the fallout. Later in the dream, I was telling this experience to my mother, and I recalled more details. I remembered feeling that something had to be resolved regarding this prison. I went back to it, and this time the inmates were quiet, calmly studying me. I looked at my hand, then realized what to do. The cage now inexplicably half full of water, I dipped the screwdriver into the water so as to drip some of the water onto my palm. The water was thick and opaque and looked like semen. I knew that I had to cut myself and allow the water to mix with my blood. I knew that this water was from the River Styx, and that instead of poisoning me it would give me immortality. I pushed the screwdriver (which I now noticed to be barbed) all the way through my palm without pain.
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I dreamed that I was with an older woman (perhaps in her 60s), who was
leading me on some sort of swimming expedition. We came across
some stalagmite-type formations sticking out of the water, and my guide
encouraged me to view them by partially submerging my face so that the
top half of my eyes saw what was above water level and the bottom half
of my eyes saw what was submerged. I indicated that I already
knew that the formations continued underwater, but she insisted that I
view it for myself. Afterwards, we swam toward a farther
destination, and the experience of swimming was transcendently
pleasurable. I found that I couldn't sink and therefore could
devote myself to swimming with absolutely no fear, much as a fish must
feel. The feel of the water itself was also astonishingly,
transcendently pleasurable. It had no temperature (neither warm
nor cold), but I felt so at home in it that it bordered on
ecstasy. I felt wholly in my element, at one with the ocean, and
enjoyed that swimming more than anything else I've ever done in my life.
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Last night I dreamed that I was walking down the street (without
pants). I was caught off guard when a dark figure (Caucasian
male) walked up beside me. I casually said "Hello," hoping he
didn't intend to mug me. In a flash, he lassoed my neck with some
sort of thin chain and pulled me in to attack me with a knife. I
fought him for a while, and though I couldn't seem to get away from
him, several times I managed to use his knife against him and actually
cut him with it. But I eventually noticed that he was not fazed
by my counter attacks. He would smile detachedly when I stabbed
him, as if the wound was not painful or perhaps was even
pleasurable. I asked him, "Who are you?" and "What do you
want?" But he just looked back at me with a blank expression as
we continued to struggle. Then I finally seemed to figure it
out. I thought to myself something to the effect of: "He's
showing me that pain and pleasure are equal, and are equally
illusory." And with that thought, the struggle ended, he
disappeared, and I woke up. I was a bit puzzled at first,
wondering why I was going over a concept that I *thought* I already
knew. But of course I'm still viewing life dualistically.
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Original Content Copyright © 2025 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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