What’s funnier than “the long, grave discussions that you hear after dinner about the genuineness of the wines”?

Clue:  This is according to a nutritionist

Answer:  Nothing  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Dio Lewis, Our Digestion, Or, My Jolly Friend’s Secret (1873), p. 316

Which word is funnier: genius or smart?

Clue:  This is according to the book Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain

Answer:  Genius, as it is “more specific.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Christopher Hart, Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain (1998), p. 107

Which is funnier: fingers or toes?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Toes.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

Which is funnier: stocking feet or bare feet?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Stocking feet.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

Which credit card is funnier: Visa or MasterCard?

Clue:  This is according to literary humorist Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.

Answer:  MasterCard.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Personal correspondence, Aug. 25, 2007.  Jonathan adds:

"And what a triumph for "MasterCard" to be even funnier than a word with an "ee" sound in it! "MasterCard" sounds like someone has dropped an empty corrugated* box down a flight of stairs.

*Funnier word than "cardboard."

Which windy phenomenon is funnier: a hat blowing off or an umbrella turning inside out?

Clue:  This is according to Fordham University’s Thought magazine

Answer:  an umbrella.  “An umbrella turning inside out is funnier than a hat blowing off because an umbrella is made to be opened, to change its shape when its owner wills.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Fordham University, Thought (Spring 1952), p. 59

True or False: Vegetables are “as funny now as they have ever been, especially leeks”?

Clue:  This is according to comic writer Terry Pratchett

Answer:  False.  Vegetables are “not as funny as they used so be, especially leeks.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Terry Pratchett, The Truth (2001), p. 106.

Who are funnier: superstitious atheists or superstitious Catholics?

Clue:  This is according to Catholic World magazine

Answer:  Superstitious atheists  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Paulist Fathers, Catholic World, vol. 123 (1926), p. 840

Which word is funnier: credit card or money?

Clue:  This is according to the book Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain

Answer:  Credit card, as it is “more specific.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Christopher Hart, Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain (1998), p. 107

Which name is funnier: Shirley or Mary?

Clue:  This is according to comedy t.v. writer Jerry Rannow

Answer:  Shirley  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Jerry Rannow, Writing Television Comedy (2004), p. 87.

Who are funnier: poets or poseurs?

Clue:  This is according to novelist Donald Barthelme

Answer:  Poets.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Donald Barthelme, Paradise (2005), p. 156

Which half of the Bible is funnier: the Old Testament or the New Testament?

Clue:  This is according to an expert on penal law

Answer:  the Old Testament  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Francis Lieber, A Popular Essay on Subjects of Penal Law (1838), p. 77.

Which is funnier: a pratfall or a pie in the face?

Clue:  This is according to a book on the medicine show phenomenon of the 19th century

Answer:  A pie in the face.  “Nothing was more hilarious than a pratfall, until Doc Kelley invented the pie-in-the-face bit.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Ann Anderson, Snake Oil, Hustlers and Hambones: The American Medicine Show (2004), p. 124

Which is funnier: Freudians or Freud?

Clue:  This is according to The Hudson Review

Answer:  Freudians  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Frederick Morgan, The Hudson Review, Vol. 56, No. 1 (1948), p. 279

Which is funnier: humor or wit?

Clue:  This is according to the satirical journal Punch.

Answer:  Humor.  “Wit is wittier than humour, while humour is more humorous than wit.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Francis Cowley Burnand, Punch, vol. 207 (1944), p. 68.

What’s funnier than “the cool assumption of all Scotchmen that they understand metaphysics”?

Clue:  This is according to a novel entitled The Vivian Romance

Answer:  Nothing.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Mortimer Collins, The Vivian Romance (1870), p. 138

Which philosopher is funnier: Nietzsche or Kierkegaard?

Clue:  This is according to a Kierkegaard scholar.

Answer:  Kierkegaard.  “Bundle together any other ten philosophers who have made a major impact in the history of philosophy.  I challenge any reader to assemble a selection of humor from all of them put together that is funnier than what you find in this volume of Kierkegaard.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Thomas Oden, The Humor of Kierkegaard (2004), p. 4.

Now that I think of it Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and Schopenhauer are pretty much the only humorous philosophers in the Western philosophical canon. Kierkegaard is a pretty funny guy; though not in a Jay Leno type of way, his is a more subtle Dennis Miller style. Nietzsche has funny lines too, though I can't imagine filling up an entire book with Nietzsche humor though. And Schopenhauer has very morbid sense of humor.

Thanks for the book tip, I'll look it up!

Which is funnier: really big hair or baldness.

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Baldness  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

Which is funnier: the hand or the foot?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  The foot.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)

Which is funnier: polka dots or plaids?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Plaids.  “Polka dots are funnier than checks, but plaids are even more funny.  Madras plaids, however, are not funny.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)