I Found a Penny Today, So Here’s a Thought
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Yes, it's actually a standup routine about an anti-pope's grimoire.
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"There are all kinds of things in my mind. Shapes and forms and ..." From Dark Shadows episode 295.
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From the Duluth Herald, 1920.
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The cockatoo has but one joke (luring a kindly finger to its cage, then biting it so that its owner squawks), and the humor is weak. From Odd Creatures by Dum-Dum, 1915.
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Mixing vampire humor and 1970s tropes (like pet rocks, lava lamps, disco music, bell-bottom pants, mirror balls, and of course mood rings), the web series Grave Mood Rings pokes fast fun at classic slow-moving Gothic soap operas like Dark Shadows and the Canadian series Strange Paradise. In addition to a vampiric Viscount, a castle is home to a groovy Doctor (a phlebotomist, naturally), a jolly housekeeper with her own laugh track, a werewolf Vicar, and an arch-nemesis riddler wearing a Sphinx mask. Corny wordplay, the occasional bizarre sing-a-long, and haunted doughnuts punctuate the proceedings, in the tradition of the sketch comedy of MadTV, Kids in the Hall, and SCTV. This episode is by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.
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Mixing vampire humor and 1970s tropes (like pet rocks, lava lamps, disco music, bell-bottom pants, mirror balls, and of course mood rings), the web series Grave Mood Rings pokes fast fun at classic slow-moving Gothic soap operas like Dark Shadows and the Canadian series Strange Paradise. In addition to a vampiric Viscount, a castle is home to a groovy Doctor (a phlebotomist, naturally), a jolly housekeeper with her own laugh track, a werewolf Vicar, and an arch-nemesis riddler wearing a Sphinx mask. Corny wordplay, the occasional bizarre sing-a-long, and haunted doughnuts punctuate the proceedings, in the tradition of the sketch comedy of MadTV, Kids in the Hall, and SCTV. This episode is by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.
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"'Our only hope now is to find a safe landing somewhere on the other side,' was all he said, and then he disappeared." From Edmonton Churchman, 1946.
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Here's the thing ...
- after a couple weeks the novelty will wear off
- we rarely see our own fashion flubs
- despite the danger on this road, if you drive it often, you probably feel very comfortable traveling it
- there’s a bigger, more important challenge out there and we've all overlooked it
- your story won't write itself
- most of us have something, or occasionally two things, that keeps us off the cover of Vogue
- you don’t need to sit in unusual positions
- the holidays are not a sprint
- in some cases, it’s not fun to have rules
- deep down, we all want to do the right thing
- traveling can make us crazy
- work friendships are largely geographical in nature
- shoving the negative emotion aside only buried it
- we all lie about something—our ages, IQs, how many nights a week we watch dance programs on TV
- you can't let the power freak you out if you're going to use it
- your life is full. And if you don't realize that... then you're just like the rest of us, but that's no excuse
[snippets gathered through the course of our research]
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What if a vampire ...
- on one drop of blood could linger for thousands of years?
- discovered his lover wasn't another nosferatu but was instead (shudder) a human
- had a conscience?
- used a lost dog to lure victims?
- could feed on pure emotion?
- has silver fillings in his teeth?
- faces the choice of turning someone or letting him die right then and there?
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underwent psychoanalysis?
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felt remorse for his actions?
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moved in next door?
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wants to send his grandmother a photograph, but he is invisible in each picture?
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thinks he's a werewolf?
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does escape his old sect?
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became involved with artificial blood research?
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needed to travel quickly from New York to Los Angeles?
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is already among us?
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tried to hold on to the light?
[Tidbits gathered through the course of our research.] See Bullet Lists.
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"And despair and further confusion." From Dark Shadows episode 248.
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Page 47 of 169
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Original Content Copyright © 2025 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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