Inflationary Lyrics
Payphones used to take dimes, but now they take quarters. Isn't
it time to update song lyrics to reflect the realities of
inflation? Alas, it's vastly easier to rhyme the word "dime" than
the word "quarter," but here at Inflationary Lyrics Headquarters we
have risen to the challenge. Please join the fun and share your
own inflationary lyrics, with both the "before" and "after" versions! |
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Breaking from our usual conversions of dimes to quarters:
"Do You Believe in Shame" by Duran Duran
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
Maybe heard you laughing in a line of static
On my telephone
ADJUSTED FOR TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT:
Maybe saw you lol-ing in a line of symbols
On my phablet shown
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SONG: Invisible
ARTIST: Alison Moyet
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
You don't have the time
and you won't spend a dime not even to call me
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
You seek to estrange and can't find the change You give me no quarter |
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SONG: Dime
ARTIST: Cake
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
I'm a dime I'm fine And I shine, I'm freshly minted
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
I'm a quarter I oughta Be hotter than a yachter
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CakeFan writes:
Cake's lyrics are the bestest. I like your update. I thought it was so hokey when Chris Meloni as Detective Whoever on Law & Order SVU was waiting by a payphone saying, "Come on...drop a dime on us" about some criminal whose call they were expecting. First, nobody says that anymore. Because it hasn't been a dime in ages. Next, it means to rat somebody out, and they were waiting for a call from a serial killer leaving clues, i.e. he was not ratting on anyone. And lastly, the show just sucked. It sucked donkey dong the way the Dutch language sucks vowels. Chris Meloni is now trapped in the universe of Being Chris Meloni. This happens to so many actors. It should have a name and a diagnosis that ends in "Syndrome."
Prof. Oddfellow responds:
Yes, so many actors get trapped in the universe of Being [Said Actor] that there should indeed be a name and diagnosis that ends in "Syndrome." May I suggest that the word "Depp" be incorporated into the name? --- |
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SONG: Stop on a Dime
ARTIST: Little Texas
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
So you fall in love and it picks you up And it takes your heart for a ride After too many bad roads this heartbroken fool knows That love can stop on a dime.
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
So you fall in love and it picks you up In a sleigh that's pulled by reindeer
After too many bad roads this heartbroken fool knows
The buck, the buck stops here. |
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SONG: Crybaby
ARTIST: Information Society
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
If I could stop the hands of time I would do it, on a dime
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
Sands in the hourglass refill If you fold space like a bill |
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When the " Weekly Rob" blog featured my " Inflationary Lyrics" project, BruceS commented: Are there pay phones that only take a quarter? Ours take two, so the tireless updaters would need to rhyme with "50 cents". Of course, few people use pay phones any more, since everyone (even cavemen, according to TV) now has a cell phone. Cell phones not only allow people to share their call with strangers, instead of having that annoying isolation of a pay phone box, they also allow us to make and receive calls while driving, sharing lunch with a friend, or disposing of that lunch later in a public facility. Try any of *that* with a pay phone!
WeeklyRob responded that "The job of an inflationary lyricist never ends." |
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