Inflationary Lyrics
Payphones used to take dimes, but now they take quarters. Isn't
it time to update song lyrics to reflect the realities of
inflation? Alas, it's vastly easier to rhyme the word "dime" than
the word "quarter," but here at Inflationary Lyrics Headquarters we
have risen to the challenge. Please join the fun and share your
own inflationary lyrics, with both the "before" and "after" versions! |
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SONG: So Fine
ARTIST: Ginuwine
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
She's so fine, fine, fine
She's a dime, dime, dime
She's so fine, fine, fine
She's all mine, mine, mine
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
She's my boarder, boarder, boarder
Not my warder, warder, warder
Got a disorder, -order, -order
Pays per quarter, quarter, quarter
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SONG: Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?
LYRICS: Yip Harburg
ORIGINAL LYRIC:
Once I built a tower, up to the sun,
brick, and rivet, and lime;
Once I built a tower, now it's done.
Brother, can you spare a dime?
ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION:
Once I built a tower, up to the sun,
brick, and rivet, and mortar;
Once I built a tower, now it's done.
Brother, can you spare a quarter?
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SONG: I Love Rock 'N Roll ARTIST: The Arrows (covered by Joan Jett) ORIGINAL LYRIC: I love rock n' roll So put another dime in the jukebox, baby I love rock n' roll So come an' take your time an' dance with me ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION-RESISTANCE: I love rock n' roll So drop another token and let's get smokin' I love rock n' roll The juke's not broken so dance with me (Thanks to Gordon for suggesting this song) JCE suggests that one day jukeboxes might accept only card-swipes,
a la Kinko's self-serve machines. Just in case that happens, he suggests the following adjustment:
I love rock n' roll
So swipe your stripe in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
The time is ripe to dance with me
On a semi-related note, software engineer Gordon Meyer says:
I recently read that the latest jukes have become Internet-enabled to allow huge catalogs of sounds, streamed on demand. A natural evolution, I suppose. But one idea that surprised me was that at least one model allows you to pay extra and have your selections moved to the front of the playback queue! It also allows you to schedule repeats of the song at regular intervals at a reduced rate.
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Original Content Copyright © 2026 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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