SONG: If a Girl Isn't Pretty (from Funny Girl)
Lyrics: Jule Styne and Bob Merrill

ORIGINAL LYRIC:

If a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City,
She should dump the stage
And try another route.
Any guy who pays a quarter
For a seat just feels he oughter
See a figger that his wife can't
Substitute.

ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION AND CULTURAL REFERENCES
by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt:

If a girl isn't pretty
Like a "Sex in the City,"
She should dump the stage
And try another route.
All these guys paid fifty dollars
To get hot under their collars
When a showgirl shows them something
Sweet and cute

(Thanks, Jonathan!)