I was the only adult in the world who knew that ... a single letter of the alphabet would suffice for the entire encyclopedia.  —Sandi Kahn Shelton, Sleeping Through the Night and Other Lies

Here's the "One Letter Words Monkey," by Adam Koford.

Did you see this Slate headline? What exactly is the dirty word in question?

The headline has a couple of problems. Leaving out the colon between heading and subheading I can understand for clarity purposes [comedy drum roll]. But there's clearly a typo in the third word. Dirty words spelled with random symbols are simply nonsensical. My understanding is that letter substitutions were originally made carefully, not randomly. "Shit," for example, would have been written with a dollar sign for the "s", a pound sign for the "h," an exclamation mark or inverted exclamation mark for the dotted "i", and a dagger for the "t."

Such code is technically meaningless but clearly readable for content. Somewhere along the way, readers apparently weren't clever enough to decipher the obvious code and assumed that dirty words were to be represented by random symbols. And today even Slate boldly perpetuates the error, in bold type no less.

Granted, perhaps Slate meant to coin a new dirty word pronounced "IAHS." I'm game enough to try it out on occasion. Or perhaps Slate has something against the International Association of Hydrological Sciences, or the Institute of Applied Human Services, or even Indo-American Hybrid Seeds.

But that would be horseshit of an entirely different color.

---

Jonathan Caws-Elwitt wrote:

Prior to the digital age, it was not uncommon for a typesetter to stumble
and upset an entire drawer of metal type onto the floor.  The stream of
colorful language that escaped the typesetter's mouth at such a moment
came to be represented, in print-shop legend, by the chaotic heap of type
at the clumsy individual's feet.  This may be the origin of the notion
that profanity is best represented by a random assortment of characters.

A flimflam flopped from a fillamaloo.
—Eugene Field, "The Fate of the Flimflam," Poems of Childhood (1894)

Murray responds:

Now I've spent a good chunk of my morning looking for a picture of a "fillamaloo" or even a simple definition. Nothing comes up on the Internet. What am I supposed to do--imagine it!

Robert D Strock writes:

As a youngster, (I am now 85 years old), an old-timer described a "fillamaloo bird" as a native of Panama.  Its right leg was longer than its left, so it was a hill dweller that always walked clockwise around the hills.  It could fly upside down and backwards, and did so in ever decreasing circles until it flew up its rear end.  It then would scream "fillamaloo", which translates as, "Gee, it's dark in here."  He didn't have a picture of the creature.

One of the best things about studying our linguistic environment is accessibility. Unlike Mars or the ocean floor, language is right here. If you have good observation skills, patience, a little imagination, and a dictionary, you can collect many surprising facts.

An example is Craig Conley’s discovery that there are 70 meanings for the word “X.” Having been long acquainted with X, I’d have guessed that it had only two or three definitions.

I made a similarly gross underestimate when I first observed word pairs that have widely different meanings but close etymological ties. I’m talking about items such as “rectitude & rectum” (both from the Latin “rectus” meaning “straight”) and “denouement & noose” (from the Latin “nodus” meaning “knot.”) In reality, doublets are extremely common.

Like a botanist gathering “new” species, I’ve collected doublets for many years. My method is firmly rooted in guesswork. When I see two words that appear to share a linguistic structure, I check out their lineage. Often I’m fooled. For example, this week I speculated–and hoped—that “dupe” and “dope” were relatives. But, alas, they’re not.

Fortunately, over the years I found enough amusing pairs to fill the pages of a book: WORDS OF A FEATHER. You can find samples at www.wordsofafeather.net, plus an invitation to submit your own doublet discoveries.

Usually, one partner in a doublet is spelled quite differently from the other, for example, “menu & minute” and “senate & senile.” In some cases, only two letters separate the words, for example “mall & mallet” and “hero & heroin.”

But inspired by Craig’s research into the meaningfulness of single letters, I wondered: Can we find doublets that differ by just one letter? The answer is “Yes.” For example, “proud & prude” both trace to the Latin “prodesse,” “to be useful.” Here are a few others:

* acme & acne
* blog & log
* pasta & paste
* taxis & taxes
* thank & think

After confirming the existence one-letter-different doublets, I began searching for other words where a single letter plays a significant role. This led me to reduplication, the process of forming a new word repeating the sound an earlier word. Examples include: hanky-panky, mumbo-jumbo, pitter-patter, razzle-dazzle, and walkie-talkie.

The investigation of one-letter words doesn’t stop here. But I will.

Jonathan wrote:

I'm wondering if anyone present has insights into the frequent use of reduplication in magic words.

---

Craig responded:

As I discuss in Magic Words: A Dictionary, phrases like "mumbo jumbo" or "hocus pocus" conjure a mastery over the power to change one nature or form into another.  In "hocus pocus," for example, the words actually constitute a formula: A→B, meaning that the substance of A (represented by the name Hocus) transmutes into the substance of B (now Pocus). The formula is a distillation of the intention: “May that which we call Hocus be changed into Pocus.”  This distillation, "Hocus Pocus," thereby epitomizes the act of transmutation itself.  One can easily imagine a Medieval alchemist, huddled over his instruments, muttering such a formula to himself, as "Hocus Pocus" would be the equivalent to "Lead Gold" ("[May this base metal] Lead [transform into purest] Gold").

---

Murray responded:

Jonathan,

Thanks for the question...and for leading things off.

Craig, I don't have Magic Words...yet. I will today. But I wonder: Are there any reduplicative formulas that turn pedestrian writing into art, for example "prosy rosy"? I ask because after spending most of my writing career on nonfiction, I'm working on a novel. Bland (leady) prose won't do it.

By the way, Anatoly Liberman's magnificent WORD ORIGINS...AND HOW WE KNOW THEM has a fascinating chapter on reduplication. If I could write a novel as interesting as Liberman's book, I'd be up there with J. K. Rowling. 

---

Elizabeth [lizbar AT svn.net] said:

The wonderful thing about word play, word tricks, word patterns, is playful insight without heady abstraction. So it is great for kids, for expanding minds, imaginations, possibilities. The youngest can appreciate the sound and rhythm while older children can push boundaries and experiment with the meanings of WORDS.

---

Scott wrote:

This is a wonderful conversation...thank you for helping shed some light on these wonderful word usages. After all, without words, where would we be? Grunting at each other, possibly with the same level of (mis)understanding, but certainly stripped of the pleasure language gives us.

---

Michael wrote:

to add further confusion:  I'd suggest that magic words is redundant.  seeing some as magic and others not presumes a distinction between denotative and connotative meaning.  A good case can be made that connotative meaning is all we have, or, the notion of a non-abstract word (or utterance) is mythic (magical?).  So what is meaning?  well, now we get into it, don't we.  meaning can be seen as a negociated understanding or agreement between two speakers (or the writer and reader).  Notice that the understanding changes as the process continues.  Notice also that meaning changes internally, i.e., is continuously negociated by each of us.  Flux, or change, is all we have; the constant is the process. Finally, the human linguistic process is infinitely regressive; it seems that only humans can have a conversation about a conversation about a conversation.  We are the only critters we know of with the capactiy of constructing alternative realites not subject to verifiable examination.  It is only we who can be schizophrenic.  Re Lizbar's comment about word play, Thai kids (Thai being a tonal language) start punning by age 5. It's easy since music (to each sylable) detrminines meaning, or as a linguistic would say, tone is phonemic.

---

Craig responds:

If intoned in the proper spirit, any word can be a magic word.  In The Re-enchantment of Everyday Life (1997), Thomas Moore notes that “we may evoke the magic in words by their placement, . . . rhyme, assonance, intonation, emphasis, and, as [mythologist James] Hillman suggests, historical context.”  I distinguish "magic words" in particular as those time-tested, awe-inspiring, poetic utterances spoken with a special reverence for mystique—those enigmatic words and phrases, not usually employed in everyday discourse or conversation, which invoke the powers of creation and destruction when something is to appear out of thin air or to disappear back into the great void.  Too often dismissed as “meaningless gibberish,” such magic words are, on the contrary, rich in meaning for those initiated into their significance.  And unlike computer-generated gibberish, for example—which typically prompts nothing deeper than shoulder-shrugging or hair-tearing—the sacred vocabulary of mystery-makers has always affected listeners in profound (if indescribable) ways.

---

Mike [mwarwick AT pobox.com] responds:

I certainly agree that the meaning of every word transforms in parlance.  A perfect example is "gay," which once meant "happy," then commonly "homosexual," and now arguably something else entirely.  Nevertheless, it strikes me that the bulk of this process of "negotiating meaning" in any particular conversation is to a large extent nonverbal — a fait accompli.  Words do bring most of their meaning with them.  So perhaps it is not so safe to throw denotation out with the bathwater.  I find that Murray's research shows us that if we simply start with an intention to connect a pair of words which look and sound similar (e.g. "dupe" and "dope"), we are hard-pressed to do so because of the divergence of the meanings (and further etymology) that they bring to the table.

---

Julie [Casselfamily4 AT yahoo.com] wrote:

I visited the Words of A Feather website, and found a fun little quiz on the subject. I find the linguistic connections we are all making very satisfying, and take comfort in the fact that people actually care about the quirky history and development of our language. It also begs a peek into the future, and some educated guesses as to where our word futures lie. This page is covered with examples of "new" words, such as blog. Does anyone have suggestions for what comes next?

---

Madeline wrote:

"Words of a Feather" sounds like the kind of book every writer, budding writer, wordsmith or word wrangler can use.  Actually, it's likely to be useful to those folks who use words on a regular basis.  And Murray sounds like a fun guy.  I think I'll put him on my list of "The three people I'd like to have come to my dinner party."  We could pester him about the origins of everything served.  Oh, I suppose it might be best just to buy the book.

"When a nameless man (Siffredi) prevents a nameless woman (Casar) from committing suicide, she pays him to visit her at her deserted house and watch her 'where she's unwatchable.'" [source]

"Romantic rumblings start when a nameless man (Aaron Eckhart) meets a nameless woman (Bonham Carter) at his sister's wedding." [source]

"After his wife dies, the rough-cut and intentionally nameless 'man' (Jozsef Madaras) eventually coerces the 'woman' (Julianna Nyako) into doing his housework for a small remuneration." [source]

"We follow a nameless man (Nayef Fahoum Daher), content with his coffee and cigarettes, who tries to keep order in a rancorous neighborhood." [source]

"A nameless man (Alejandro Ferretis) travels from the city deep into the Mexican countryside, looking for a place to die." [source]

"One evening she meets a nameless man (Sam Neill) who, after coming back to her place, takes her hostage on his yacht." [source]

"A nameless woman (Kim Novak) plays a Madeleine Elster possessed by her ancestor." [source]

"This time, the action – well, inaction: our hero is at his most animated when rolling cigarettes – centres on a nameless man (Markku Peltola) who, having been beaten senseless, wakes up and finds himself among the homeless in Helsinki harbour." [source]

"Fight Club starts out, interestingly enough, about a nameless man (the Narrator, played by Edward Norton) who is a relatively successful employee of 'a major automobile manufacturer.'" [source]

"The film's opening credits flash with a frantic, dramatic score, and we are introduced to a nameless woman (Vanessa Redgrave) unable to sleep in a dingy third-world hotel." [source]

"This nameless man is played by Jean-Pierre Léaud." [source]

"Hope (Nadja Brand) and her young daughter are abducted and brought to a remote, terrifying forest by a mysterious and nameless man (Eric Colvin)." [source]

"So Laure lets a nameless man (Vincent Lindon) into her car to give him a lift." [source]

"At the door is a guy who shall remain nameless, so I will call him KEITH RICHARDS for the sake of naming him something other than 'nameless man.'" [source]

"The Narrator is a nameless man in the story (so let’s call him Jack)" [source]

"The movie begins with a nameless man (named Nameless — played by Jet Li) being delivered to a meeting with the king who is going to reward our hero for successfully killing the three people in his land who have been trying to assassinate the king for the length of his reign." [source]

"Tuco and the nameless man, who is called 'Blondie' throughout the film, are two con artists in cahoots." [source]

Jonathan wrote:

This brings to mind that hard-cussing French film star, Nom de Nom.

STEP INSIDE DESIGN MAGAZINE, Annual 2007 issue:

by Taylor Stapleton

Author Craig Conley has a literary mind and a designer's reverence for individual letters, a secular devotion made manifest in Mucca Design's work for his One Letter Words: A Dictionary. The pristine white volume has the proportions and gold foil embellishment of a child's first Bible, while its uncoated jacket paper offers the tactile richness of leather.

Where Conley has unearthed the letters' literary meanings, art director Matteo Bologna's Decora and Infidelity typefaces showcase their forms with all the sensual flourish of an illuminated manuscript. The latter typeface's name suggests sinful indulgence, and indeed the book's design is not as pure as its sacred allusions suggest. Conley opens with the notion of "an entire alphabet of scarlet letters," and Mucca's color scheme is accordingly flush with the rosy hues of flesh. Designer Cristina Ottolini claims she simply set out to create "a handsome volume that would appeal to bibliophiles, the sort of person interested in the rarefied topic of one-letter words." The result is sure to please even the most zealous lover of language.

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Today it seems that anyone can parlay their 15 minutes of fame into 15 cable episodes, with an option for a second season."
—"It's Unreal How Easily Reality Shows Pop Up," Rocky Mountain Daily News, July 20, 2002

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everyone's not going to be famous for 15 minutes; instead, we will all have our own talk shows."
—"Ex-Dancer, Ex-First Son Tries a New Career: Talk Show Host," Buffalo News, Aug. 16, 1991

"The couple who wrote and performed the theme to the 1970s TV series "Happy Days" are on a media blitz in Colorado Springs this weekend, proving that Andy Warhol was wrong. Not only will everyone in the world get 15 minutes of fame, they'll get another 15 minutes when the nostalgia factor kicks in a couple of decades later." 
—"These Days Are Happy for Couple," The Gazette, March 6, 1997

"Andy Warhol was wrong ... People don't want 15 minutes of fame in their lifetime. They want it every night."
—"Pseudo's Josh Harris," BusinessWeek, Jan. 26, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong. With the release of the film, Factory Girl, he and his 'superstars' are about to get another 15 minutes of fame."
—"Straight to the Point," Daily Mail, Sept. 27, 2006

"As it turns out, Andy Warhol was wrong: not everybody will be famous for 15 minutes. But with bad prospects and a good agent, those who once were can now extend the clock thanks to unprecedented TV demands for the vaguely familiar." 
—Vinay Menon, "More Dancing with Quasi-Celebs," Toronto Star, March 19, 2007

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In the future, everyone will be Hitler for 15 minutes."
—"Originality is the First Casualty of War," Austin American-Statesman, April 1, 1999

"Andy Warhol got it wrong. It's not fame everyone will have in the future; It's a chance to scream at someone else on TV."
—"Clinton Vs. Dole About Ratings, Not Discourse," Witicha Eagle, March 11, 2003

"Andy Warhol was wrong. The wild-eyed artist boldly proclaimed that in the future everyone would have 15 minutes of fame.  Warhol's fortune-telling skills were nowhere as visionary as his art. Warhol should have predicted with the explosion of reality television that in the future everyone will have 15 minutes of privacy."
—"One Day, We'll Beg for Privacy," Fresno Bee, Aug. 3, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong. It turned out we were all from Colorado."
—Barry Fagin, "Montel Williams and Me," Independence Institute, Nov. 1, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everybody already has been famous––some time last week. It just depends on who’s telling it and who’s listening."
—"The Remembering Game," Depot Town Rag, Sept. 1990

"The culture-shock doctor explained that science had discovered that Andy Warhol was wrong about fame; He had the right idea, but his figures were off."
—"The Sting of Cable Backlash," Miami Herald, Oct. 9, 1983

"'Andy Warhol was wrong,' Neal Gabler said. 'He was right when he said everyone will be famous, but wrong about the 15 minutes.'"
—Marjorie Kaufman, "Seeking the Roots of a Celebrity Society," New York Times, Dec. 11, 1994

"Andy Warhol got it wrong by 12 minutes. People have three minutes of fame; long enough to walk down a catwalk and back."
—Guardian, July 7, 2002

"Warhol was wrong ... cos he was 10 minutes off; it's really five minutes now."
—"Meat Loaf Criticises Academic 'Laziness,'" TVNZ, March 9, 2010

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everyone can be famous these days, all right, but the renown lasts more like 15 seconds, not minutes."
—"Smile! You're Part of a Video Society," Greensboro News and Record, May 20, 1990

"Andy Warhol was wrong when he said that everyone would have 15 minutes of fame; extras can look forward to having only seconds of movie glory."
—"12 Hours' Extra Work for a Brief Moment of Glory," Derby Evening Telegraph, Nov. 9, 2006

"[A cuckoo clock bird speaking:] Andy Warhol was wrong; I only get 15 seconds of fame."
—Mike Peters, "Mother Goose and Grimm," July 27, 2005

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In my case, at least, fame clocked in at only 6:42 minutes, and that was before the final cut."
—Wilborn Hampton Lead, "Confessions of a Soap Opera Extra," New York Times, Dec. 31, 1989

"Andy Warhol was wrong when he said that everyone will enjoy their fifteen minutes of fame. The time frame he referred to might one day be measured in seconds."
—Warren Adler, "The Dividing Line," Aug. 10, 2009

"Andy Warhol was wrong. You can be famous for a lot longer than 15 minutes, if you're clever enough."
—"Oliver's Brand of Revitalisation," Marketing Week, April 7, 2005

"'We were sure that Andy Warhol was wrong, that it would last more than 15 minutes,' says Hilary Jay.'"
—"Maximal Art and Its Rise from the Ashes," Philadelphia Inquirer, July 25, 1993

"When it comes to the Super Bowl, Andy Warhol was wrong. Its cast of characters has been famous for 25 years, and will be 25 years from now."
—"Simply the Best," Denver Post, Jan. 27, 1991

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Long after the buzzer sounded on Mark Fuhrman's 15 minutes of fame, he just won't go away."
—"Fuhrman Overstaying His Welcome," June 10, 2001

"Andy Warhol was wrong: sometimes you do get more than 15 minutes of fame, even if you're not Greg Louganis."
—National Review, Dec. 10, 2004

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Not everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. Many people get more than that. Like Dr. Bernie Dahl."
—The Nashua Telegraph, Dec. 3, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In the Ultimate universe we’ve got more than 15 minutes."
—"Hack Meets Hacker," Aspen Magazine, Midsummer 1996

"Andy Warhol was wrong … you can have 45 minutes of fame, not just 15!"
—"Invitation to Present at the OTM SIG Conference in June 2009," Dec. 22, 2008

"Andy Warhol was wrong in my case; my fifteen minutes of fame have been more like three hours."
—Ken Eichele, My Best Day in Golf: Celebrity Stories of the Game They Love, 2003

"Andy Warhol was wrong; I was a hero for at least fifteen hours." 
—Gene GeRue, "Tomato Madness," Dec. 17, 2006

"Andy Warhol was wrong.  People aren't famous for fifteen minutes; they're famous forever."
—Arthur Black, Black & White and Read All Over, 2004

"Andy Warhol was wrong, when he predicted that in the future, people would become famous for 15 minutes. This is the future. Now people become famous in 15 minutes. Take Duran Duran."
—Ethlie Ann Vare, "New Echoes of Duran Duran," New York Times, Nov. 24, 1985

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In the future, everyone will not be famous for 15 minutes. Everyone will just be famous."
—"Cooking Up Celebrity Storm," Boston Globe, Jan. 21, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong. No one Is famous for just 15 minutes. These days you get to be famous whenever you feel like it.  Just like everyone else."
—"Now, Everyone is Famous! Who Knew?" Associated Press, July 16, 1999

"'Andy Warhol was wrong,' says Newman, who completed his trek in 1987. 'If I wanted to be boring, I could live on this for the rest of my life."
—"Book Lists Sometime-Dubious Firsts," Dallas Morning News, July 31, 1988

"Andy Warhol was wrong about one thing: His own 'fifteen minutes of fame' have never ended."
—Barnes & Noble, review of Andy Warhol Treasures, 2009

"In the internet age, bad headlines no longer go away and Andy Warhol was wrong about his fifteen minutes of fame. If you are infamous now, you are infamous forever."
—Peter Walsh, "Curtis Warren: the Celebrity Drug Baron," Telegraph, Oct. 7, 2009

"Milwaukee futurist David Zach says Andy Warhol was wrong: We aren't going to get that 15 minutes of fame after all. 'It's just the opposite,' Zach says."
—Tim Nelson, "The Skinny," St. Paul Pioneer Press, Aug. 27, 1998

"I think Andy Warhol got it wrong: in the future, so many people are going to become famous that one day everybody will end up being anonymous for 15 minutes."
—Shepard Fairey, Swindle #8, 2006

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Most of us will never come close to being famous—even for 15 minutes."
—"Stepping into the Spotlight," Wall Street Journal, Nov. 8, 1999

"Andy Warhol was wrong: not everyone deserves 15 minutes of fame. Some people deserve 160 words of recognition ..."
—"Unsung Heroes," What Magazine, Jan. 1, 2004

"Andy Warhol was wrong: for 15 minutes, everybody gets to be a starting quarterback for The Saints."
—"Tyson Still Has Issues," Atlanta Journal, Oct. 16, 1998

"Andy Warhol was wrong: in the future, everyone won't be famous for 15 minutes, but everyone will have their own Web site."
—"Book Review: The Non-Designer's Web Book," Information Management Journal, July 1, 1999

"Andy Warhol was wrong. We've all had our 15 minutes, now we all want a mini-series!"
—"Boy First Believed On Runaway Balloon Found After Frantic Search," New York Post, Oct. 16, 2009

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everyone won't just have 15 minutes of fame. One day—soon, I suspect—we all will have our very own talk shows."
—Linda L.S. Schulte, "Word's Worth," Baltimore Sun, Jan. 31, 1996

"There are times in life when you just hope that Andy Warhol was wrong and that a merciful God will grant you a second 15 minutes of fame."
—"Confessions of an Embarrassed Viagra Expert," University Wire, Sept. 24, 1998

"The endless parade of disposable rock bands, special-effects movies, potboiler thriller novels and TV sitcoms makes me think that Andy Warhol was wrong."
—"Longtime Newsweek Art Critic Peter Plagens is Also a Painter," Newsweek, April 25, 2002

"A TV producer played by Joe Mantegna muses that Andy Warhol was wrong about everybody being famous for 15 minutes."
—"Allen's 'Celebrity' Witty, Wicked But Shallow," Wichita Eagle, Dec. 9, 1998

"Andy Warhol was wrong - everyone does NOT have their 15 minutes of fame and the overwhelming majority of You're a Star hopefuls would have told him that."
—"The Fame Game's Just Not Worth It," The Mirror, Aug. 25, 2006

"Andy Warhol was wrong. When you’re a Vanderbilt running back, you’re not famous for 15 minutes."
—Anthony Lane, Nashville City Paper, Nov. 5, 2004

"My main conclusion: Andy Warhol was wrong—we won't all get 15 minutes of fame."
—"Using the Internet to Examine Patterns of Foreign Coverage," Nieman Reports, Sept. 22, 2004

"Warhol was wrong! He neglected to factor in the 15 minutes of one's own alter-egos."
—"Warhol was Wrong," GenderFun.com, May 29, 2009

"Warhol was wrong. The message is clear: we do not want your 15 minutes of fame, you can shove it."
—Alix Sharkey, "Saturday Night: The Techno Ice-Cream Van is on its Way," The Independent, June 26, 1993

In a universe defined by a spreadsheet, intangibles don’t exist.
—Tongaroa, Re-Imagineering blog

Written language captures things that spoken language never could. Does anyone know, for example, what a semicolon sounds like?

Consider the sentence "Order your furniture on Monday, take it home on Tuesday." With a comma, it means that if you order your furniture on Monday, you can take it home on Tuesday. "Order your furniture on Monday; take it home on Tuesday" is different, however; it is a double command. But sometimes you can't tell the difference between the two sentences simply by hearing them read aloud. You need to see their punctuation to detect the difference.

If you look carefully, Mr. [Geoff] Nunberg said, the world of punctuation has its own rules of power politics. Commas are the weakest, semicolons are middleweight powers and colons are superpowers. Look more carefully and there is even a ranking among semicolons.

The market for food books appears, at last, to have begun devouring itself.  Nearly every topic worth writing about has been written about, and the well of reliable, interesting information on food, once thought inexhaustible, is beginning to run dry.

In circumstances such as these, author Barry Foy believes that an honorable writer has nowhere to go but sideways, into the realm of lies, misleading claims, and baseless speculation. With its hundreds of entries on subjects ranging from ingredients to utensils to techniques, plus its you-are-there historical coverage of everything from the little-known Icelandic roots of cheese to the strange case of Emil the Talking Black-Eyed Pea, The Devil's Food Dictionary promises much-needed relief to the foodish reader who finds him/herself sagging under the burden of informativeness and credibility.

smorgasbord  also smörgasbord; smorgäsbord; smorgasbörd; smörgasbörd; smörgäsbord; smorgäsbörd; smörgäsbörd; smörgäsbörrd: A lavish Swedish buffet traditionally consisting of four courses plus dessert. The first course is always herring, the undisputed king of Scandinavian foods. This can include pickled, smoked, and/or fried herring, as well as pickled smoked herring, pickled fried herring, and fried smoked herring. The second course moves on to other types of seafood, such as salmon in herring sauce, herring-smoked eels, and jellied sprats (a relative of the herring). Third come meats such as veal and beef in various delectable forms, but the unpopularity of those dishes--owing to their lack of herring--usually results in their being donated to Somali refugee centers. The fourth course features traditional hot dishes, such as sprat gratin (herring can be substituted), baked onions stuffed with herring paste, and/or meatballs molded in the shape of a herring (or a sprat). The dessert lineup is enshrined in tradition and unfailingly includes herringberry coffee cake, creamy cheesecake from which all herring (or sprat) bones have been painstakingly removed, and s'mores, the chocolate-marshmallow-graham cracker confection after which the smorgasbord is named.

When you've got to have the right word - even if vowels are verboten and consonants are compulsory, or vice versa - these online Strange Dictionaries are just the ticket.

The roses are full, full
The roses are always on my mind.
I love the roses only
And, O my soul, the lettuce leaf.

Yellow as summer sunlight, soft as young thighs, smooth as a Baptist preacher's rant, falsely innocent as a magician's handkerchief, mayonnaise will cloak a lettuce leaf, some shreds of cabbage, a few hunks of cold potato in the simplest splendor, recycling their dull character, making them lively and attractive again, granting them the capacity to delight the gullet if not the heart.