The spelling baited breath instead of bated breath is a common mistake that, in addition to perpetuating a cliché, evokes a distasteful image.

The fisherman's breath was bated;
On thin ice had he skated.
The cause of concern:
a perm (not a worm).
His wife said she'd have his ass crated.

Will you please wear these spectacles for a few moments?  The king at once put them on. They are called Character Markers, continued the boy, because the lenses catch and concentrate the character vibrations radiating from every human individual and reflect the true character of the person upon his forehead.  If a letter 'G' appears, you may be sure his disposition is good; if his forehead is marked with an 'E' his character is evil, and you must beware of treachery.

The Master Key

An Electrical Fairy Tale
Founded Upon The Mysteries Of Electricity
And The Optimism Of Its Devotees. It Was
Written For Boys, But Others May Read It

by [noneother than] L. Frank Baum

Paul Di Filippo began his career either in 1977, when his first story appeared in Unearth magazine; or in 1982, when he quit his job as a COBOL programmer to devote himself fulltime to writing; or in 1985, when his second and third stories appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction and The Twilight Zone Magazine; or in 1995, when his first book, The Steampunk Trilogy, debuted.  Whichever date one chooses, 2006 will see the publication of his twenty-fifth book, Top 10: Beyond the Farthest Precinct, a milestone he is very proud of.  He intends to retire now in stages over the next forty years.

If bandages are sterile, where do those little Band-Aids come from?

Do Australian clocks go 'tock tick'?

When the bus doesn't stop at the bus stop, is it still a bus stop?

If the name "Mannering" is really spelled "Mainwaring", then what about the auxiliary waring?

Born helpless, nude and unable to provide for himself, Lore Sjöberg eventually overcame these handicaps to become a handyman, a handicapper and a handmaiden.

Ever thought about how "ooh" and "aah" are ubiquitous backing vocal phonemes, but "ayy" and "eee" and short "a" (as in "hat") are rarely if ever heard? If you want to entertain yourself during a commute, try imagining '50s or '60s pop songs with some of these "alternate vowel sound" backing vocals. One particularly appealing image for me is a chorus of Fonzies singing "ayyy"s behind "Don't Worry Baby".

Johnny spun to face a bookcase of art criticism and wondered desperately if K came before or after N.  The alphabet, a pillar, a solace and a certainty since kindergarten, had suddenly deserted him.  He stood, bewildered and staring, as if he’d suffered a crisis of faith.  Does the alphabet exist?  If the alphabet exists, why is there so much suffering in the world?  The alphabet is dead.
—Cathleen Schine, The Love Letter