CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, a “monk for the modern age” by George Parker, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is
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This May Surprise You

Today — May 30, 2020 (permalink)

You might have assumed the 1980s breezed in like a neon-lit flock of seagulls on a koosh ball with shoulder pads and parachute pants, but it wasn't as smooth as all that.  No, not at all.  "Crunch, clank, clank — here comes the eighties!"  From The Gateway, 1977.
#vintage headline #1980s
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May 27, 2020 (permalink)

Not only did these folks get your money this year, but one of them bought a cupcake with it.  From Woroni, 1963.
#vintage illustration #money #vintage headline
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May 24, 2020 (permalink)

Yes, Mystic Magazine officially claimed to have gnomes as subscribers.  From 1954.
#vintage illustration #gnome
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May 22, 2020 (permalink)

"You don't have to live in Quebec."  From The Gateway, 1970.
#vintage headline #quebec
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May 21, 2020 (permalink)

It's not an expression -- a pin really did drop, and here's the guy who could hear it.  From Film Daily, 1935.  We previously extrapolated from Newtonianism that a hush falls at the same speed a pin drops, as proven here.
#vintage illustration #pin drops #pin
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May 20, 2020 (permalink)

You may be surprised to learn that "your ancestors first sighted those UFOs."  From UFO Newsclipping Service, 1970.
#vintage illustration #ufo #vintage headline
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May 16, 2020 (permalink)

One wonders just how many dairy products have been figments of our imagination.  "The Myth of Milk," from Woroni, 1981.
#milk #vintage headline
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May 13, 2020 (permalink)

"Mexico hears a sucking sound."  From UFO Newsclipping Service, 1996.
#mexico #vintage headline
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May 10, 2020 (permalink)

From The Bullet newspaper, 2009.
#ghost #vintage headline #ghost bride #spirit photograph
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May 9, 2020 (permalink)

From The Bullet newspaper, 2009.  See Seance Parlor Feng Shui.
#occult #ghosts #seance #vintage headline
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May 7, 2020 (permalink)

You can probably tell by the title of this pamphlet that you are, indeed, an anarchist, even if you didn't know it.  Sorry for the spoiler!
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May 6, 2020 (permalink)

"Girls don't gamble any more."  From Wid's Daily, 1920.
#gambling #question mark #fun fact
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May 5, 2020 (permalink)

We restored a grandfather clock that possesses a ghostly feature.  Thanks to Grumpy Andrew, of Grumpy Andrew's House of Horror, who said, "Wonderful! Oh that was a balm for my soul."  Meanwhile, to whatever pathetic soul thumbed-down our video, we'd ask to see what grand illusion you built from scratch this week, but —oh, that's right! — you didn't.  But you made us feel even more fabulous, so — lest we disappoint you — the thumbs-down didn't discourage at all but rather set us apart from you!  Thanks for social-distancing!  We feel safer now.
#ghost #prof. oddfellow #grandfather clock
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May 3, 2020 (permalink)

Important: you can finally give your hand puppet the fashionable shoulder pads synonymous with (but not an invention of) the 1980s.  From You Can Be a Puppeteer by Carolyn London, 1972.
#vintage illustration #hand puppet #shoulder pads
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May 2, 2020 (permalink)

It may surprise you to learn you're related to an angel.  There's an easy way to check: see our article "Theogony Made Simple" in Fiddler's Green #7.   Then chart the deified branches of your family tree with Heirs to the Queen of Hearts: Tracing Magical Genealogy.
From The Uncle of an Angel by Thomas Allibone Janvier, 1891.
#genealogy #angel
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May 1, 2020 (permalink)

This ad gets funnier as it goes.  From The Campus Enquirer (University of Alberta), 1982.
#vintage ad #height
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April 28, 2020 (permalink)

"The way you can tell a fine pendulum is by the reflections of the lights.  Do you see the lights?  And do you see the colors?  All the colors of the spectrum.  Can you see the center?  The exact center—do you see it?  Keep trying.  Look at the colors.  See how they move.  Watch them—they’re brilliant colors.  They flash by.  Try to find the center.  Can you hear anything?  The chiming of the hours?"
Yes, the mesmeric words are based on Dr. Julia Hoffman's hypnotic technique in Dark Shadows.  We're looking the other way so as not to hypnotize ourselves.
The pendulum, with its reflective sphere in the middle, is from a haunted grandfather clock we are restoring.
The mop hair is, to date, only the seventh item in our collection of people who look spectacular with mop hair.
#prof. oddfellow #pendulum #hypnotist #hypnosis #sun face #mop hair
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April 27, 2020 (permalink)

"Poets not writing poetry?" -- turns out that poets never have written poetry.  It's all been a big scam.  From The Gateway, 1982.
#poet #poetry #vintage headline
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April 24, 2020 (permalink)

"Lights in the sky baffling."  From UFO Newsclipping Service, 1983.
#vintage illustration #ufo #vintage headline
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April 23, 2020 (permalink)

Yes, even Uncle Sam uses a ghost writer.  Here's an "as told to" autobiography (when it comes to Uncle Sam, of course, history is autobiography): The Unpopular History of the United States by Uncle Sam Himself As Recorded in Uncle Sam's Own Words by Harris Dickson, 1917.
#vintage illustration #uncle sam #old book
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