The "stretch portraits" in the Haunted Mansions of various Disney theme parks tell intriguing stories that most viewers don't have time to decode.  As any visitor to the Haunted Mansion will tell you, the portraits grow in length as the ceiling of the gallery appears to stretch upward.  The portraits initially tell a three-part story, labeled in our illustration as A, B, and C (top, middle, bottom).  However, the story doesn't end there.  The viewer's eye must then go back up to A for a macabre and darkly humorous "epilogue."  Let's examine each portrait to decode their secrets.

On the far right of our illustration is a portrait of a distinguished gentleman with a beard.  In section A, we see the man striking a formal pose, one hand on a lapel of his jacket and the other holding a parchment.  Section B presents a gag: the man isn't wearing pants!  Section C holds a big surprise: not only is the man in his boxer shorts, but he's standing on a keg of dynamite, and a candle has just lit the fuse!  But the story doesn't end there.  Bringing our eyes back to the top, we see the man in a different light.  The man is obviously not surprised that he's standing upon explosives.  Indeed, he deliberately posed this way, for the portrait painter!  And that paper in his hand?  We now realize that he's holding his own suicide note.  His face is calm -- he is at peace with his own mortality and is ready to face the great unknown.

Now let's look at the portrait to the left of the bearded man.  In section A, we see a lovely young lady posing outdoors, holding a parasol.  Section B presents a gag: the woman is balanced on a tightrope, and it looks as if the rope might break at any moment!  Section C holds a big surprise: not only is the woman precariously balanced, but there is a crocodile below her, hungry jaws open wide!  Yet the story doesn't end there.  Bringing our eyes back to the top, we see the lady in a new light.  She is obviously not surprised that she's standing on a tightrope.  (Indeed, she wore pink slippers for the purpose!)  Her face is serene -- she is prepared to face the jaws of death, as the painter she hired hurries to finish his portrait!

Now let's look at the portrait to the left of the parasol lady.  In section A, we see a young businessman wearing a hat, his arms crossed in a posture of self-assuredness.  Section B presents a gag: the young man is sitting on the shoulders of an older man!  Perhaps he is climbing his way up the corporate ladder?  Section C holds a big surprise: the older man is sitting on the shoulders of yet another, and they're all sinking in quicksand!  But the story doesn't end there.  Bringing our eyes back to the top, we see the young man in a different light.  He is obviously not surprised that he's sinking in quicksand.  Has he struggled his way to the top to save his own life?  His calm face and crossed arms point to a different conclusion: he knows he's going down, and he is at peace with his imminent merger with Mother Earth.  

Finally, let's look at the portrait at the far left of our illustration.  In section A, we see an elderly woman wearing a shawl, posing with a red rose.  Section B presents a gag: the woman is sitting on a tombstone!  Section C holds a big surprise: the tombstone belongs to her husband George, and it appears that he was murdered with an axe to the head!  But the story doesn't end there.  Bringing our eyes back to the top, we see the woman in a different light.  The woman obviously killed her own husband.  Indeed, she appears almost proud as she sits atop his grave.  But is something else going on?  Why is she holding a rose?  If it's not for her unloved husband, could it be for herself?  Perhaps this portrait could be entitled "Arsenic and Old Lace."  The woman's own time has finally come, and she is calmly waiting for the poison to kick in.

Looking back at the top of each portrait, we see that the old woman, the businessman, the young lady, and the distinguished gentleman are all (in their own unique ways) "going out on top."  The point of all these portraits seems to be that death is inevitable, so why not take it in stride, have a little fun along the way, and go out with bang?  It's a darkly humorous philosophy that few guests to the Haunted Mansion have the time to decipher during their brief visit to the gallery.