From The Left Leg, by Alice Tilton:

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Besides, this story was nothing that could be adequately told over a phone. This was a story which required gestures.

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If, Leonidas thought, he couldn't grasp it himself, he certainly couldn't expect understanding from his more literal-minded friends.

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The Scarlet Wimpernel was not a one to hesitate at filching rubbers, if she happened to feel like filching them.

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"But don't you feel they're rather normal names for horses [i.e., too normal to be plausible as horse names]? Besides, Marcus preferred horses with five or six syllabled names. Tulsamundle Toothpick was one of his particular favorites."

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"Judy kept a last year's desk calendar because she liked the picture on it, and she's completely disorganized my social life with it."

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"I finally decided to have a bit of you, and then a bit of music, and then to keep sandwiching you in. Pauline thought it might confuse you to be sandwiched, so I suppose I'd better ask you if you mind being sandwiched."

"At this point," Leonidas said with perfect candor, "I shall hardly notice it."

***

Leonidas gallantly relinquished the platform to a stout lady in pink who announced that she was going to sing a group of Old English Folk Songs, and before he reached the side door, she was well into the inevitable hey-nonnys.

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Leonidas had to drop his pince-nez twice before he grasped the fact that Mrs. Spoffard had returned the topics of hats, and was asking his advice about one.

[And here come the malapropisms!]

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"What a night! I feel like the wrath of grapes!"

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"What a swell house! Orris chairs, and broadtail rugs, and indiscreet lighting--just like a movie!"

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"I couldn't let my best friend down! Why, we're just like Damon and Runyan!"

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"You see, Rosalie's making like a collection of men with moustaches. I always tell her if she's got a hobby, it's a man with a moustache."

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"I wrote a book on Shakespeare once," Leonidas said, "a rash action I've regretted ever since. It endowed me, among my former colleagues, with a thoroughly unjustified reputation for being a Shakespeare expert, and, furthermore, a Shakespeare enthusiast."

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"I'm afraid I kind of messed things up, and I tipped over a pudding when I was using your pantry for a dark room, but I didn't think you'd mind."

***

"Myrna, this is Judy."

"I'm pleased," Myrna said, "to meet your acquaintance."