From Four Days' Wonder, by A. A. Milne:

***

They were great theatre-goers, and had missed the last five minutes of the Third Act of every play worth seeing since 1922.

***

Sturge's book was coming out next month, and Fenton had not yet decided what he was going to say about it. It depended upon certain unknown quantities, one of them being, of course, the actual quality of the book.

***

From their very first meeting Derek had had an offensive way of looking at him, and as soon as the kid had had any eyebrows to raise, it had started raising them.

***

[Re. two fictional characters, each of whom preferred to sleep outdoors.]

It would have been convenient, this being so, if they had married each other, but unfortunately they were in different books.

***

"I don't want a paper, I don't want a paper, I don't want a paper," said Mr. Watterson fretfully.

 

[Cf. the Goons, "Six Charlies in Search of an Author":

 

Grytpype-Thynne:

Nonsense, nonsense, you'd fall down without them. You'd fall DOWN without them.

Ned:

You'd fall down without THEM.

Grytpype-Thynne:

YOU'D fall down without them.

(falling about)

Peter:

Take yer choice.

(Ned breaks up)]

 

***

His hair was very short at the back--not at all what you expect of a painter, but perhaps he wasn't a very good painter.

***

[Aunts dept.]

"She has all the virtues. She is a mother to those who want mothers, and an aunt to anybody who likes aunts."

***

Though in these last two years he had become an enthusiastic cricketer, he excelled as a bad player rather than as a good one, doing so with the air of one who preferred it this way, as being more in the literary tradition.

[Isn't there a Stephen Potter subsection about upmanship through playing badly and losing? (If there isn't, there should be.)]

***

Outside the open windows starlings imitated themselves and other birds untiringly.

***

[Douglas Adams Precursing--and One-Upping!--dept.]

"Have you got two towels?"

"One," said Jenny, looking at the towel-horse.

"I'll have another ready for you. I've told Mrs. Bassett over and over again that the secret of a contented life is two towels."

***

Whenever Leslie Brand let fall an epigram, and he seemed unable to let fall anything else, she either trilled or else bubbled with happy laughter.

***

He looked at himself in the Queen Anne mirror, and found that once again it had no alternative to offer him.

***

[Which Is Pithier? dept.]

"But he's absolutely innocent. As innocent as a--"

"New-born babe," prompted Nancy.

"As innocent as a well, as a matter of fact I was going to say a 'babe unborn.' I don't know that there's much in it."

"Babe unborn," said Nancy. "Much better. Sorry."