From The Maltese Herring, by L. C. Tyler:

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"I've constructed a timeline."

"Am I paying you to construct timelines?" I asked.

"You're not paying me at all."

[Cf. The Can of Yams: "Look, I’m not paying you to undermine my sense of artistic mission." / "At the moment, you’re not paying me at all."]

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Our tyres screeched alarmingly as Ethelred put his foot down and the Ashmolean Museum flashed past the passenger window in a blur of Cotswold stone.

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I wondered whether to point out that fluttering her eyelashes like that was causing a nasty draught, but I let her continue.

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"He told me his grandfather was worth ten of mine--not that I ever had any plans to have more than two."

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[And, though this book is hot off the press, the author demonstrates that the art of author-disclaimer variations lives on!]

None of my characters (as they say) resembles a real person in any way whatsoever. If you don't believe me, check out a few real people.

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