unearths some literary gems.
***
I am well versed in the dealings of The General Public and if experience has taught me anything it is that the public are rarely general.
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A steady and often surly gentleman...with one of the most expressive moustaches I have ever known.
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No good ever came of panicking on an empty stomach.
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"The food's a bloody shambles when term's out"....
"There are some interesting twiddly desserts, though"....
"Pffft! Twiddly desserts can bugger off."
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"Hmm! Well! Let me tell you!" There is a pause whilst Head Porter decides exactly what it is he wants to tell me.
***
I am beginning to think that the whole thing was definitely hat-related.
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The Dean checks his watch and utters what could be a swear word, but sounds made up to me.
***
"What are you talking about, breakfast?" Hawkins Head Porter asks, brows so firmly knotted it would take an experienced sailor to release them.
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"I've just seen a chap coming out of a cleaning cupboard with a bowler hat hidden under his jacket. What do you make of that?"
The bowler hat must mean that the chap is a Porter, unless a Charlie Chaplin convention is being held in one of our cleaning cupboards.
***
"He is none other than Professor Dexter Sinistrov, your brand new Bursar."
***
